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Movies and televisions should always show audience that good people are rewarded and bad people are punished. v.2

Movies and televisions should always show audience that good people are rewarded and bad people are punished. v. 2
The innovation of the television has the fundamental role in the modern society. Actually, the TV can be considered as an indirect instructor. While some people are convinced that the movies and television should depict the ultimate and fair consequence of the bad and good action; others, on the other hand, believe otherwise. I personally agree with the first belief. Among the countless reasons which give adherence to my perspective, I will delve into the most conspicuous ones, in what follows. The threshold reason that advocates my outlook is that the TV has an instructive role in the community. As a matter of fact, people daily spend three hours in front of the television; besides, the TV contributes to the people' s various sense at the same time. As a result, the Television indirectly influences the individuals' attitude and belief; and the TV possesses an informative status among the people. In this crucial position, it is vital for the TV to demonstrate the fact and accurate data rather than the fake and superficial one. The people' s behaviors and their final consequences are not exceptional from this fact too. For instance, if the person does a beneficial task, its good outcome should be illustrated in the television till the television advertises the beneficial tasks and prevents the bad ones. Another equally striking point that supports my idea is that the children are efficient and sensitive toward the TV and its show. It is evident as crystal that the children have a great pace in the learning. In addition, the television with the attractive scenes appeals them so conveniently. Thereby the utilize of TV as the effective and training resource among the children is undeniable. According to the noteworthy, intelligence survey conducted in my country, approximately sixty-five percent of the kid' s personality is shaped based upon the television shows and programs. Based on this valid statistic, the accurate indication of the people' s actions is important till to flourish the children with the moral principle. Finally, the last issue which should be considered is that the absence of the fair result of the bad and good actions in the movies can demolish the people' s motivation. Indeed, each person requires a specific incentive to be eager and done a specific task. It can be a good occupation or the bad one. In a case which the movie character is rewarded for the sake of his good action, the audiences are motivated to do that decent action too. Or if the bad character has been not punished due to his misbehavior, the people are eager to try that bad action too. A vivid example can be given to shed light on the issue, is my brother' s instance. He is sixteen years old, and he is one of the fans of the Success Show in TV. This program interviews with the successful persons weekly and demonstrates the key factor their success. For the sake of the motivation presented with the TV, my brother assumes if he follows those key elements, he can achieve the success too. To wrap it up, all aforementioned reasons lead us to the conclusion that the TV should present the ultimate results of the actions justly. The television is an indirect teacher of people, and it affects children' s behavior. Moreover, it is the source of eagerness for the actions.
The innovation of the
television
has the fundamental role in the modern society. Actually, the TV can
be considered
as an indirect instructor. While
some
people
are convinced
that the movies and
television
should depict the ultimate and
fair
consequence of the
bad
and
good
action
; others,
on the other hand
, believe
otherwise
. I
personally
agree
with the
first
belief. Among the countless reasons which give adherence to my perspective, I will delve into the most conspicuous ones, in what follows.

The threshold reason that advocates my outlook is that the TV has an instructive role in the community. As a matter of fact,
people
daily spend three hours in front of the
television
;
besides
, the TV contributes to the
people&
#039; s various sense at the same time.
As a result
, the
Television
indirectly
influences the
individuals&
#039; attitude and belief; and the TV possesses an informative status among the
people
. In this crucial position, it is vital for the TV to demonstrate the fact and accurate data
rather
than the fake and superficial one. The
people&
#039; s behaviors and their final consequences are not exceptional from this fact too.
For instance
, if the person does a beneficial task, its
good
outcome should
be illustrated
in the
television
till the
television
advertises the beneficial tasks and
prevents
the
bad
ones.

Another
equally
striking point that supports my
idea
is that the
children
are efficient and sensitive toward the TV and its
show
. It is evident as crystal that the
children
have a great pace in the learning.
In addition
, the
television
with the attractive scenes appeals them
so
conveniently
. Thereby
the utilize
of TV as the effective and training resource among the
children
is undeniable. According to the noteworthy, intelligence survey conducted in my country, approximately sixty-five percent of the
kid&
#039; s personality
is shaped
based upon the
television
shows
and programs. Based on this valid statistic, the accurate indication of the
people&
#039; s actions is
important
till to flourish the
children
with the moral principle.

Finally
, the last issue which should
be considered
is that the absence of the
fair
result of the
bad
and
good
actions in the movies can demolish the
people&
#039; s motivation.
Indeed
, each person requires a specific incentive to be eager and done a specific task. It can be a
good
occupation or the
bad
one. In a case which the movie character
is rewarded
for the sake of his
good
action
, the audiences
are motivated
to do that decent
action
too. Or if the
bad
character has been not punished due to his misbehavior, the
people
are eager to try that
bad
action
too. A vivid example can be
given
to shed light on the issue, is my
brother&
#039; s instance. He is sixteen years
old
, and he is one of the fans of the Success
Show
in TV. This program interviews with the successful persons weekly and demonstrates the key factor their success. For the sake of the motivation presented with the TV, my brother assumes if he follows those key elements, he can achieve the success too.

To wrap it up, all aforementioned reasons lead us to the conclusion that the TV should present the ultimate results of the actions
justly
. The
television
is an indirect teacher of
people
, and it affects
children&
#039; s behavior.
Moreover
, it is the source of eagerness for the actions.
12Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
38Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
10Mistakes

IELTS essay Movies and televisions should always show audience that good people are rewarded and bad people are punished. v. 2

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
563 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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