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Movies and television programs should present stories in which good people are rewarded and bad people are punished. Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? v.2

Movies and television programs should present stories in which good people are rewarded and bad people are punished. v. 2
The 20th and 21st centuries are characterized by all the momentous changes which have been made in humans' lives. Perhaps the most important milestone of these two centuries is the advent of sophisticated technologies, which influence people' s lives enormously. Various points of view which are germane to the matter being discussed brings us to the moot question as to whether movies and television programs should rely on positive and negative aspects of people hallmarks. However, the popular sentiment to which I vehemently cling is that although positive and negative behaviors of people play a significant role, movies and TV should cover informative and helpful program regarding humans' lives. The underlying aim of this essay is to put forward some cogent reasons to shed light on a number of issue in this framework. To commence with, in today' s hectic city of life, technologies have penetrated every single facet of our lives, in which TV is one of the manifestations of the technological advancement. Generally phrased, TV nowadays provides a wide range of programs about different subjects. But these programs should be helpful and informative for human beings. As a palpable example, knowing which people should be rewarded or punished might not be effective in human lives owing to the fact that there are several tasks human beings need to learn. In fact, TV could provide an opportunity for individuals and teach them through programs on how to take the responsibility for their behaviors and not to do something wrong. To elucidate more on this issue, TV and movies could play a consequential role in the treatment of people in any given society. So, not only can individuals learn how to behave but also can learn how to become a self-sufficient and successful person in the long run. Another equally salient point in corroborating my stance on this subject is that TV programs and movies can provide documentaries for people and help them enhance their knowledge. If we take a minute to ponder over it, vast majorities of people in the society suffer from the paucity of knowledge and information about various realms. For instance, a TV program or a movie can provide fertile ground for people to become familiar with the history of the nation where he/she lives. So, not only can history help people make a sound and a wise decision in their personal lives but also can support them not to do something wrong owing to the fact that our history is our teacher. It can be deduced from a combination of breadth of coverage and depth of detail that there are majorities of programs that could be shown by TV, which are helpful and useful for the entire humanity. However, every coin has two sides. If TV programs or movies concentrate on people' s hallmarks and represent their positive and negative characters, it allows people to recognize and identify human beings as easy as possible. However, it was a story in a nutshell; actually, there are more reasonable grounds that can lend weight to my personal perspective. In light of reasons elaborated, I reiterate that
The 20th and 21st centuries
are characterized
by all the momentous
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
which have
been made
in
Possible spelling mistake found.
humans&
#039;
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
. Perhaps the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
milestone of these two centuries is the advent of sophisticated technologies, which influence
Possible spelling mistake found.
people&
#039; s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
enormously
. Various points of view which are germane to the matter
being discussed
brings us to the moot question
Consider shortening this phrase to just "whether", or rephrase the sentence to avoid "as to".
as to whether
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
and television
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
programs
should rely on
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
aspects of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
hallmarks.
However
, the popular sentiment to which I
vehemently
cling is that although
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
behaviors of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
play a significant role,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
and TV should cover informative and helpful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
program
regarding
Possible spelling mistake found.
humans&
#039;
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
. The underlying aim of this essay is to put forward
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
cogent reasons to shed light on a number of issue in this framework.

To commence with, in
Possible spelling mistake found.
today&
#039; s hectic city of life, technologies have penetrated every single facet of our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
, in which TV is one of the manifestations of the technological advancement.
Generally
phrased, TV nowadays
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
provides
a wide range of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
programs
about
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
subjects.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
programs
should be helpful and informative for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
beings. As a palpable example, knowing which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should
be rewarded
or punished might not be effective in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
owing to the fact that there are several tasks
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
beings need to learn. In fact, TV could
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
provide
an opportunity for individuals and teach them through
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
programs
on how to take the responsibility for their behaviors and not to do something
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
. To elucidate more on this issue, TV and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
could play a consequential role in the treatment of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in any
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
society.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
can individuals learn how to behave
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
can learn how to become a self-sufficient and successful person in the long run.

Another
equally
salient point in corroborating my stance on this subject is that TV
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
programs
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
provide
documentaries for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them enhance their knowledge. If we take a minute to ponder over it, vast majorities of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in the society suffer from the paucity of knowledge and information about various realms.
For instance
, a TV
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
program
or a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movie
can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
provide
fertile ground for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to become familiar with the history of the nation where he/she
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
can history
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a sound and a wise decision in their personal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
can support them not to do something
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
owing to the fact that our history is our teacher. It can
be deduced
from a combination of breadth of coverage and depth of detail that there are majorities of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
programs
that could
be shown
by TV, which are helpful and useful for the entire humanity.
However
, every coin has two sides. If TV
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
programs
or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
concentrate on
Possible spelling mistake found.
people&
#039; s hallmarks and represent their
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
characters, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to recognize and identify
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
beings as easy as possible.
However
, it was a story in a nutshell; actually, there are more reasonable grounds that can lend weight to my personal perspective.

In light of reasons elaborated, I reiterate that
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
43Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Mistakes

IELTS essay Movies and television programs should present stories in which good people are rewarded and bad people are punished. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
518 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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