Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Some people are becoming more interested in family history research Others argue we should focus on present and future generation Discuss both views and give your opinion v.2

Some people are becoming more interested in family history research Others argue we should focus on present and future generation 2
It is true that some people desire to know about their ancestors and family backgrounds. It is important to know about the family history to protect their cultures and values. But meantime it could be argued that we should not ignore our new generation because they are our future. This essay will discuss both aspects before making any definitive conclusion. On one hand side, some people believe that generation history is very important because some traits are passed from generation to generation. For instance, some genetic diseases such as autosomal dominant diseases or syndromes have ability to carry gene from one generation to other generation. Furthermore, the pursuit of the family history and origin gives us sense of the responsibility and motivation to preserve the past for the future and sense of the self- satisfaction in accurate storyline. In addition, some people think that knowing about past is significantly important to preserve our culture and values. On the other hand, some people believe that exploration of the family history is the waste of time. There are some other urgent needs to be addressed to save our present and future generation. For instance, in highly developed and competitive world we need to focus on our children’s education because an educated person could save our today and tomorrow. Moreover, today crime rate has been increasing tremendously in many cities around the world due to several reasons. Thus parents need to give their attention and time to their children in order to save our future. In conclusion, in my view, it is important to know about ancestor history which gives us valuable knowledge regarding our culture and other aspects. But we could not deny that we need to concentrate on our present and future generation because our present makes history for our upcoming generation.
It is true that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
desire to know about their ancestors and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
backgrounds. It is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
to know about the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
to protect their cultures and values.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
meantime it could
be argued
that we should not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ignore
our new generation
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they are our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
. This essay will discuss both aspects
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
making any definitive conclusion.

On one hand side,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that generation
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
traits
are passed
from generation to generation.
For instance
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
genetic diseases such as autosomal dominant diseases or syndromes have ability to carry gene from one generation to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
generation.
Furthermore
, the pursuit of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
and origin gives us sense of the responsibility and motivation to preserve the past for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
and sense of the self- satisfaction in accurate storyline.
In addition
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that knowing about past is
significantly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
to preserve our culture and values.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that exploration of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
is the waste of time. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
urgent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
needs
to
be addressed
to save our present and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
generation.
For instance
, in
highly
developed and competitive world we
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
to focus on our children’s education
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
an educated person could save our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
and tomorrow.
Moreover
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
crime rate has been increasing
tremendously
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
cities around the world due to several reasons.
Thus
parents
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
to give their attention and time to their children in order to save our future.

In conclusion
, in my view, it is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
to know about ancestor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
which gives us valuable knowledge regarding our culture and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
aspects.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
we could not deny that we
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
to concentrate on our present and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
generation
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
our present
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
for our upcoming generation.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
30Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people are becoming more interested in family history research Others argue we should focus on present and future generation 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
301 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts