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Some people argue that we should do research into our family history. Others agree with the view that we should focus on the present and future generations. Discuss both views and give your own opinion. v.1

Some people argue that we should do research into our family history. Others agree with the view that we should focus on the present and future generations. v. 1
It is a widespread practice that family history should be studied carefully. A counter-argument is that the investment in the present and future generations are more worthwhile. I am of the opinion that family history deserves more attention. On the one hand, it is important to concentrate on the health, happiness, and well-being of the present generation and to live sustainably for the sake of future generations. In terms of the present, everyone should try to provide a good moral example and to set patterns of behavior that demonstrate respect for others. For instance, being consistently kind and honest provides a good model for children to follow during their formative years. This behavior will shape their personality and values as they enter adult life. From the perspective of future generations, it is essential to focus on fighting climate change and to combat global warming. On the other hand, it is also essential to have knowledge about the past, including family history. This knowledge enables people to understand their situation today. For example, by using the pedigree map, we can discover the origins, occupations and some of the life stories of previous generations of family members helps to give individuals an understanding of time and place. The study of family history, therefore, bridges the generation gap and helps people to look at the past in connection with the present. On the basis of the above-mentioned arguments, while it is vital to be concerned with the present and future generations, I contend that it is also both interesting and important to study
It is a widespread practice that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
should
be studied
carefully
. A counter-argument is that the investment in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
present
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
generations are more worthwhile. I am of the opinion that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
deserves more attention.

On the one hand, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to concentrate on the health, happiness, and well-being of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
present
generation and to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
sustainably
for the sake of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
generations. In terms of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
present
, everyone should try to provide a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
moral example and to set patterns of behavior that demonstrate respect for others.
For instance
, being
consistently
kind and honest provides a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
model for children to follow during their formative years. This behavior will shape their personality and values as they enter adult life. From the perspective of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
generations, it is essential to focus on fighting climate
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
and to combat global warming.

On the other hand
, it is
also
essential to have knowledge about the past, including
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
. This knowledge enables
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to understand their situation
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
.
For example
, by using the pedigree map, we can discover the origins, occupations and
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
some of the
life stories of previous generations of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
members
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
to give individuals an understanding of time and place. The study of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
,
therefore
, bridges the generation gap and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to look at the past in connection with the present.

On the basis of the above-mentioned arguments, while it is vital to
be concerned
with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
present
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
generations, I contend that it is
also
both interesting and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to study
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
17Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes
Language is to the mind more than light is to the eye.
William Gibson

IELTS essay Some people argue that we should do research into our family history. Others agree with the view that we should focus on the present and future generations. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
259 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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