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Question: Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Boys and girls should attend separate schools. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. v.15

Question: Boys and girls should attend separate schools. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. v. 15
Attending school is one of the most important part of every child' s life. They are where we learn and grow up. Even though some people believe that boys and girls should attend a same school, some disagree. In my view, different genders should attend separate schools for two key reasons. First is focus. When male and female students study together, they tend to impress each other in many ways such as their look and strength. And, this may affect their grades and their learning process. For instance, in my country, Iran, girls and boys must attend separate schools till the end of their highschools. When I was 16, I was accepted to a very competitive highschool. We were supposed to finish tons of homeworks everyday. We had no break and the university entrance exam, which is called Konkoor, was approaching. All we had to worry was our grades and our progress. None of the students in that institute never worried about what to wear or how to impress a guy. We had one and only one goal: success. As a result, when we took the exam, at the end of the year, all of us succeeded. Most of my friends were accepted to the most prestigious universities. This experience taught me that attending a school with only boys or girls can be really beneficial in terms of success. Second is benefits of limited relationship between two genders. So many studies demonstrated that when girls and boys study in a same school, they attract each other, both physically and emotionally. This can lead to have numerous number of teenager moms. Girls who become pregnant not only impact their future negatively by not being able to go college but they also affect the society because the rate of mothers who die during their labor increases. I remember watching a documentary about a girl who was pregnant from her highschool boy friend. She was only 15. They had such a hard time to decide to keep the baby or abort the unwanted baby. The girl and her boyfriend decided to raise the baby together. But, down the road, the father of kid left his family and the mother was supposed to raise her son. Her life was such a tragedy. She wanted to attend a medical school but she was not able to do it. Even though with the help of her mom she was able to attend a college, but her grades were not good enough to be accepted to any medical school. Finally, she decided to work as a bar tender since with her background and resume she couldn' t find a better job. Her financial status was not decent at all which placed a huge impact on her son' s education as well. With her low income, she was not able to afford to send her son to better schools. As you can see, attending a schools with boys and girls can have a vast impact on people' s life. In conclusion, different genders must attend different schools not only because does this help their education but it also help them to avoid early pregnancy and problems related to that. We should all recommend and educate all of the parents to send their children to schools with only one gender.
Attending
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
is one of the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
part of every
Possible spelling mistake found.
child&
#039; s life. They are where we learn and grow up.
Even though
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
boys
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
girls
should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
attend
a same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
disagree. In my view,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
genders should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
attend
separate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
for two key reasons.

First
is focus. When male and female students study together, they tend to impress each other in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
ways such as their look and strength. And, this may affect their grades and their learning process.
For instance
, in my country, Iran,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
girls
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
boys
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
attend
separate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
till the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of their
Possible spelling mistake found.
highschools
. When I was 16, I was
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
accepted
to a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
competitive
Possible spelling mistake found.
highschool
. We
were supposed
to finish tons of
Possible spelling mistake found.
homeworks
'Everyday' is an adjective. Did you mean "every day"?
everyday
. We had no break and the university entrance exam, which
is called
Possible spelling mistake found.
Konkoor
, was approaching. All we had to worry was our grades and our progress. None of the students in that institute never worried about what to wear or how to impress a guy. We had one and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
one goal: success.
As a result
, when we took the exam, at the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of the year, all of us succeeded. Most of my friends were
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
accepted
to the most prestigious universities. This experience taught me that attending a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
boys
or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
girls
can be
really
beneficial in terms of success.

Second is benefits of limited relationship between two genders.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
studies demonstrated that when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
girls
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
boys
study in a same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
, they attract each other, both
physically
and
emotionally
. This can lead to have numerous number of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenager
moms.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Girls
who become pregnant not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
impact their future
negatively
by not being
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
able
to go college
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they
also
affect the society
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the rate of mothers who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
die
during their labor increases. I remember watching a documentary about a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
girl
who was pregnant from her
Possible spelling mistake found.
highschool
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
boy
friend. She was
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
15. They had such a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
time to decide to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
the baby or abort the unwanted baby. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
girl
and her boyfriend decided to raise the baby together.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
, down the road, the father of kid
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
his family and the mother
was supposed
to raise her son. Her life was such a tragedy. She wanted to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
attend
a medical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
she was not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
able
to do it.
Even though
with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of her mom she was
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
able
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
attend
a college,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
her grades were not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
to be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
accepted
to any medical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
.
Finally
, she decided to work as a bar tender since with her background and resume she
Possible spelling mistake found.
couldn&
#039; t find a better job. Her financial status was not decent at all which placed a huge impact on her
Possible spelling mistake found.
son&
#039; s education
as well
. With her low income, she was not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
able
to afford to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
send
her son to better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
. As you can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
, attending a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
boys
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
girls
can have a vast impact on
Possible spelling mistake found.
people&
#039; s life.

In conclusion
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
genders
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
attend
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
does this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
their education
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it
also
Did you mean "helps"?
help
them to avoid early pregnancy and problems related to that. We should all recommend and educate
Consider using "all the".
all of the
parents to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
send
their children to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
one gender.
12Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
42Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
15Mistakes

IELTS essay Question: Boys and girls should attend separate schools. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. v. 15

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
551 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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