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Some people are afraid to go out for fear of being robbed on the streets. Still, there are robberies that happen inside houses. What do you think is the best thing a person can do to ensure his/her own security? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. v.2

Some people are afraid to go out for fear of being robbed on the streets. Still, there are robberies that happen inside houses. What do you think is the best thing a person can do to ensure his/her own security? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. v. 2
It is true that a groIn my opinion few measures must be taken to avoid such thefts such as setting an alarm system, having a pet dog. Cops can also take few steps to avoid such incidents by increasing their patrolling. The breaking and entering of the houses can be avoided by setting up of alarm systems which alert the house owner when someone try to break the security of the house. For example, Setting up of an alarm system will also make the house secure even when the person is outside for longer periods of time. People can also have a pet dog which will alert the owner when some unfamiliar person try to break into the house. It's not just the houses, even the cases of shoplifting can to be curbed to an extent by installing CCTV cameras in the shops. The government and the cops can also take few measures to avoid such crimes. The Cops can increase the time of patrolling in the areas where there is an increase in the number of burglaries and shoplifting crimes. For example, a survey conducted by a criminal research organization disclosed that Robberies percentage is very low in Singapore because of high alert of police especially night times. The government can install the cameras in the areas where such crimes are on high and also imposing high penalties and punishments on the criminals to avoid thefts and robberies. In conclusion, Many people are panicking to go out for afraid of being robbed on the streets. Still, there are robberies that happen inside houses. In my opinion, some proper precautions should be taken to overcome these fears by alarm setting and increasing police patrolling, having pet dogs. To be more specific, the government and the individuals should collectively take measures to avoid street and house robberieswing number of people are scared of robbery and thefts while on the streets, but there are also many instances of housebreaking and burglary.
It is true that a
Possible spelling mistake found.
groIn
my opinion few measures
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be taken
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
avoid
such thefts such as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
setting
an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
alarm
system, having a pet dog. Cops can
also
take few steps to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
avoid
such incidents by increasing their patrolling.

The breaking and entering of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
houses
can
be avoided
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
setting
up of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
alarm
systems which alert the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
house
owner when someone
The pronoun 'someone' is usually used with a third-person or a past tense verb: "tries", "tried".
try
to break the security of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
house
.
For example
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Setting
up of an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
alarm
system will
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
house
secure even when the person is outside for longer periods of time.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
can
also
have a pet dog which will alert the owner when
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
unfamiliar person try to break into the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
house
. It's not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
houses
, even the cases of shoplifting can to
be curbed
to an extent by installing CCTV cameras in the shops.

The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
and the cops can
also
take few measures to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
avoid
such crimes. The Cops can increase the time of patrolling in the areas where there is an increase in the number of burglaries and shoplifting crimes.
For example
, a survey conducted by a criminal research organization disclosed that
Apostrophe might be missing. Did you mean "Robberies'" or "robbery's"?
Robberies
percentage is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
low in Singapore
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of high alert of police
especially
This word is normally spelled as one.
night times
. The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
can install the cameras in the areas where such crimes are on high and
also
imposing high penalties and punishments on the criminals to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
avoid
thefts and robberies.

In conclusion
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are panicking to go out for afraid of
being robbed
on the streets.
Still
, there are robberies that happen inside
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
houses
. In my opinion,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
proper precautions should
be taken
to overcome these fears by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
alarm
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
setting
and increasing police patrolling, having pet dogs. To be more specific, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
and the individuals should
collectively
take measures to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
avoid
street and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
house
Possible spelling mistake found.
robberieswing
number of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are scared
of robbery and thefts while on the streets,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
there are
also
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
instances of housebreaking and burglary.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
21Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people are afraid to go out for fear of being robbed on the streets. Still, there are robberies that happen inside houses. What do you think is the best thing a person can do to ensure his/her own security? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
329 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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