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Many people are afraid to leave their home because of their fear of crime. Some people believe that more action should be taken to prevent crime, but others feel that little can be done. Discuss both views and give your own opinion. v.1

Many people are afraid to leave their home because of their fear of crime. Some people believe that more action should be taken to prevent crime, but others feel that little can be done. v. 1
The high crime rate has led to a phenomenon that plenty of people are afraid of leaving home, which impair the social security and stability. There are conflicting views regarding whether crime could be prevented or not. Personally, I believe that the measures could be done to reduce the high crime rate efficiently. On the one hand, some people believe that there are solutions that will ensure people feel safer outside their homes. Firstly, offenders should be given the punishment according to the severity. For those who commit felony like murder, they should receive strict punishment such as life imprisonment or death penalty. Strict punishment could be a deterrent to potential lawbreakers, they might be afraid of the consequence of being caught. As a result, some of them might give up their illegal plans. Moreover, some people recommit after being released because they cannot find a decent job and make a living, this is also a reason contribute to the high crime rate. If education or vocational training can be provided in prison, prisoners are more likely to secure employment when they go back to society, this measure could lead them to the correct path. Lastly, the education system should play an important role in preventing crimes. Schools can provide moral lessons to help students develop a sound moral system. Since there is much misbehaviour promoted in public, if they are exposed to improper information, their moral awareness could prevent them from being misled. This could reduce juvenile delinquency and the possibilities of becoming criminals when they grow up. On the other hand, others argue that nothing can be done hold this view for several reasons. To begin with, a fear of crime is a state of mind perpetuated by the media. For example, we are constantly bombarded with negative news stories about offence and violence on our streets. Thus, the belief is that whatever we do to reduce levels of crime, people will still be scared. Another belief is that this wrongdoing is caused by wider structural issues in society that are too difficult to tackle, such as the growing income gap between the rich and the poor. Little then can be done about this issue in the capitalist societies. In conclusion, from my perspective, although tacking crimes is challenging, the prevention can be achieved through the measures mentioned above. Therefore, both the government and the education system should take responsibility to build a secure society.
The high
crime
rate has led to a phenomenon that
plenty
of
people
are afraid of leaving home, which impair the social security and stability. There are conflicting views regarding whether
crime
could be
prevented
or not.
Personally
, I believe that the measures could
be done
to
reduce
the high
crime
rate
efficiently
.

On the one hand,
some
people
believe that there are solutions that will ensure
people
feel safer outside their homes.
Firstly
, offenders should be
given
the punishment according to the severity. For those who commit felony like murder, they should receive strict punishment such as life imprisonment or death penalty. Strict punishment could be a deterrent to potential lawbreakers, they might be afraid of the consequence of
being caught
.
As a result
,
some
of them might give up their illegal plans.
Moreover
,
some
people
recommit after
being released
because
they cannot find a decent job and
make
a living, this is
also
a reason contribute to the high
crime
rate. If education or vocational training can
be provided
in prison, prisoners are more likely to secure employment when they go back to society, this measure could lead them to the correct path.
Lastly
, the education system should play an
important
role in preventing
crimes
. Schools can provide moral lessons to
help
students develop a sound moral system. Since there is much
misbehaviour
promoted in public, if they
are exposed
to improper information, their moral awareness could
prevent
them from
being misled
. This could
reduce
juvenile delinquency and the possibilities of becoming criminals when they grow up.

On the other hand
, others argue that nothing can
be done
hold this view for several reasons. To
begin
with, a fear of
crime
is a state of mind perpetuated by the media.
For example
, we are
constantly
bombarded with
negative
news stories about
offence
and violence on our streets.
Thus
, the belief is that whatever we do to
reduce
levels of
crime
,
people
will
still
be scared
. Another belief is that this wrongdoing
is caused
by wider structural issues in society that are too difficult to tackle, such as the growing income gap between the rich and the poor.
Little
then can
be done
about this issue in the capitalist societies.

In conclusion
, from my perspective, although tacking
crimes
is challenging, the prevention can
be achieved
through the measures mentioned above.
Therefore
, both the
government
and the education system should take responsibility to build a secure society.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes
If we spoke a different language, we would perceive a somewhat different world.
Ludwig Wittgenstein

IELTS essay Many people are afraid to leave their home because of their fear of crime. Some people believe that more action should be taken to prevent crime, but others feel that little can be done. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
407 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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