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Today, more and more students are deciding to move to another country for their studies. "Do you think" the benefits of this outweighs the disadvantages? v.3

Today, more and more students are deciding to move to another country for their studies. "Do you think" the benefits of this outweighs the disadvantages? v. 3
Nowadays, there is a growing trend for students to relocate abroad to continue their education despite numerous obstacles. In my opinion, i believe that the advantages in terms of exposure and job opportunities make it stronger than any disadvantages it might have. Firstly, students that do not take the opportunity to study abroad limits their experience and knowledge of the world. This means that they will have less understanding of the different languages and cultures which could limit their job prospects later in life. For instance, many multi-national companies require their graduate employees to be fluent in a second language. This will be very difficult to achieve for someone who has not immersed himself or herself in another language at some point. Another reason to consider is that not being culturally aware could lead to an individual accidentally offending someone else. For example, not everyone knows that it is offensive in the Japanese culture to only use one hand when accepting a business card. Furthermore, having the opportunity to travel outside of one's fatherland provides an ample avenue to get to know about other peoples cultures. In addition, It also strengthens inter-traits relationships, this result of this could promote a stronger economic ties between countries. In conclusion, although there are some disadvantages of of having to study abroad, it's numerous benefits such as exposures to the cultures of the outside world and promoting relationships and economics ties overshadows any of its demerits.
Nowadays, there is a growing trend for students to relocate abroad to continue their education despite numerous obstacles. In my opinion,
i
believe that the advantages in terms of exposure and job opportunities
make
it stronger than any disadvantages it might have.

Firstly
, students that do not take the opportunity to study abroad limits their experience and knowledge of the world. This means that they will have less understanding of the
different
languages and
cultures
which could limit their job prospects later in life.
For instance
,
many
multi-national
companies
require their graduate employees to be fluent in a second language. This will be
very
difficult to achieve for someone who has not immersed himself or herself in another language at
some
point.

Another reason to consider is that not being
culturally
aware could lead to an individual
accidentally
offending someone else.
For example
, not everyone knows that it is offensive in the Japanese
culture
to
only
use
one hand when accepting a business card.
Furthermore
, having the opportunity to travel outside of one's fatherland provides an ample avenue to
get
to know about other peoples
cultures
.
In addition
, It
also
strengthens inter-traits relationships, this result of this could promote a stronger economic ties between countries.

In conclusion
, although there are
some
disadvantages
of of
having to study abroad,
it's numerous benefits
such as exposures to the
cultures
of the outside world and promoting relationships and economics ties overshadows any of its demerits.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay Today, more and more students are deciding to move to another country for their studies. "Do you think" the benefits of this outweighs the disadvantages? v. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
242 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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