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Some people prefer to live in a house, while others feel that there are more advantages to living in an apartment. Are there more advantages than disadvantages of living in a house compared with living in an apartment? v.13

Some people prefer to live in a house, while others feel that there are more advantages to living in an apartment. Are there more advantages than disadvantages of living in a house compared with living in an apartment? v. 13
It is important for people to consider which type of accommodation they should live in. While some believe that it is better to live in a house, others feel that living in a flat offers more benefits. This essay will explain why I believe the drawbacks of living in a house are outweighed by the positives when compared to live in an apartment. Considering firstly the negatives of houses, an important one is that this kind tends to be less secure. This is because the vast majority of houses are only protected by a single or double lock on the front door, with occasionally a rarely-used burglar alarm inside. Furthermore, houses are usually only one or two stories high, which is low enough for a burglar to see through and enter via a window. Contrast this with apartment blocks, which are frequently equipped with surveillance cameras, security guards and other forms of criminal deterrence. However, the main advantages of living in a house are that they are often more spacious and more private. With regards to the former, houses typically have multiple rooms to allow plenty of space for leisure and relaxation, which is especially useful for families with children. As for the latter, at least in the case of detached houses, greater privacy is possible because noise does not carry through one wall and into the neighbouring residence. Conversely, not only are flats generally smaller, but they are also less private due to neighbours living in very close proximity. In conclusion, I think that the advantages of space and privacy that come with living in a house outweigh the disadvantages of less security in comparison with living in an apartment.
It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to consider which type of accommodation they should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in. While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
believe that it is better to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
house
, others feel that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
in a flat offers more benefits. This essay will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
why I believe the drawbacks of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
house
are outweighed
by the positives when compared to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in an apartment.

Considering
firstly
the negatives of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
houses
, an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
one is that this kind tends to be less secure. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the vast majority of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
houses
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
protected by a single or double lock on the front door, with
occasionally
a rarely-
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
burglar alarm inside.
Furthermore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
houses
are
usually
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
one or two stories high, which is low
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
for a burglar to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
through and enter via a window. Contrast this with apartment blocks, which are
frequently
equipped with surveillance cameras, security guards and other forms of criminal deterrence.

However
, the main advantages of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
house
are that they are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
more spacious and more private.
Use "in regard to", "with regard to", or more simply "regarding".
With regards to
the former,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
houses
typically
have multiple rooms to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
of space for leisure and relaxation, which is
especially
useful for families with children. As for the latter, at least in the case of detached
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
houses
, greater privacy is possible
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
noise does not carry through one wall and into the
Possible spelling mistake. 'neighbouring' is British English.
neighbouring
residence.
Conversely
, not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
are flats
generally
smaller,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they are
also
less private due to
Possible spelling mistake. 'neighbours' is British English.
neighbours
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
Consider using "proximity".
close proximity
.

In conclusion
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that the advantages of space and privacy that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
house
outweigh the disadvantages of less security
in comparison
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
in an apartment.
12Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
15Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes
One language sets you in a corridor for life. Two languages open every door along the way.
Frank Smith

IELTS essay Some people prefer to live in a house, while others feel that there are more advantages to living in an apartment. Are there more advantages than disadvantages of living in a house compared with living in an apartment? v. 13

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
281 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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