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Some parents want their children to read only serious educational books at all times. They don’t want their children to read any entertaiment books because they think it is wast of time. Do you agree or disagree? v.3

Some parents want their children to read only serious educational books at all times. They don’t want their children to read any entertaiment books because they think it is wast of time. v. 3
Educational or knowledge based books and resources are preferred by the parents for their kids to be exposed to, in comparison to more playful books which are considered to be of less value by them. I opine that, playful and non-subject related materials are equally important for a child's growth, along with the subject oriented book resources. Parents should encourage their kids to read, entertaining study materials more often apart from the course books because the information is presented in a fun, artistic and innovative manner. Children are attracted to such presentations and data read will be impinged to their minds in an efficacious pace when compared to the boring way of presentation in regular course books. This will also motivate children's interests, in exploring the knowledge in academic perspective. Apart from the knowledge, the friendly and playful resources would be a source of relaxation to children. For instance, teaching a pre-school toddler the alphabets, numbers or colours in a traditional way by forcing them to study the regular material will not motivate the child as much as the innovative and playful methods such as a book with puzzle cards or pictures where children are encouraged to learn playfully. Children will not be bored instead be enthusiastic to read and gain information in a delightful manner. To summarize, considering the advantages of the entertainment books parents should not neglect the importance of these resources. Along with the subject specific or educational books, the children should be given access to playful books which will improve the concentration and innovation in a child by being a relaxation source.
Educational or knowledge based
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
and resources
are preferred
by the parents for their kids to
be exposed
to,
in comparison
to more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
playful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
which
are considered
to be of less value by them. I opine that,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
playful
and non-subject related materials are
equally
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for a child's growth, along with the subject oriented
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
book
resources.

Parents should encourage their kids to read, entertaining study materials more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
apart from the course
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the information
is presented
in a fun, artistic and innovative manner.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Children
are attracted
to such presentations and data read will
be impinged
to their minds in an efficacious pace when compared to the boring way of presentation in regular course
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
. This will
also
motivate children's interests, in exploring the knowledge in academic perspective.

Apart from the knowledge, the friendly and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
playful
resources would be a source of relaxation to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
.
For instance
, teaching a
Possible spelling mistake found.
pre-school
toddler the alphabets, numbers or
Possible spelling mistake. 'colours' is British English.
colours
Consider replacing "in a traditional way" with the adverb for "traditional"; e.g., "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
in a traditional way
by forcing them to study the regular material will not motivate the child as much as the innovative and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
playful
methods such as a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
book
with puzzle cards or pictures where
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are encouraged
to learn
playfully
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Children
will not
be bored
instead
be enthusiastic to read and gain information
Consider replacing "in a delightful manner" with the adverb for "delightful"; e.g., "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
in a delightful manner
.

To summarize
, considering the advantages of the entertainment
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
parents should not neglect the importance of these resources. Along with the subject specific or educational
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
access to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
playful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
which will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the concentration and innovation in a child by being a relaxation source.
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
19Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes

IELTS essay Some parents want their children to read only serious educational books at all times. They don’t want their children to read any entertaiment books because they think it is wast of time. v. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
266 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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