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MANY HIGH-LEVEL POSITIONS IN COMPANIES ARE FILLED BY MEN EVEN THOUGH THE WORKFORCE IN MANY DEVELOPED COUNTRIES IS MORE THAN 50 PERCENT FEMALE. COMPANIES SHOULD BE REQUIRED TO ALLOCATE A CERTAIN PERCENTAGE OF THESE POSITIONS TO WOMEN. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. v.1

MANY HIGH-LEVEL POSITIONS IN COMPANIES ARE FILLED BY MEN EVEN THOUGH THE WORKFORCE IN MANY DEVELOPED COUNTRIES IS MORE THAN 50 PERCENT FEMALE. COMPANIES SHOULD BE REQUIRED TO ALLOCATE A CERTAIN PERCENTAGE OF THESE POSITIONS TO WOMEN. v. 1
In a large number of developed nations, over half of the staff is of women and in spite of this, numerous top positions are allocated to male employees in the corporation. It is argued that there is a need to allow the desired fraction of these posts to female workers. In my opinion, I completely disagree with the above argument because senior positions ought to be assigned on the basis of qualifications, experience, and skills, not gender. Firstly, allotment of higher positions should be based on the qualification of the employees, not on their sex. The senior posts require individuals who are well-qualified, so the selection for the concerned place should be done while keeping in mind the degrees of the workforce. For instance, the recruitment of senior personnel in many multinational enterprises is done in accordance with the educational qualification of an employee. Another criterion for assigning a top place in organisations are job experience and practical expertise. People who are trained and possess a certain set of skills add value to the companies and these kind of individuals are more suitable for the higher posts. Moreover, greater the number of years an individual has devoted to the corporation, more experienced a person is. This results in the maturity to take important decisions during the need of the hour. In other words, experience and practical expertise assist in the growth of the company. Take, for example, the business employer allot top management position to the employee who has excellent interpersonal skills along with experience. In conclusion, in the organisations, the gender neutrality should be maintained in the allocation of the senior positions and other norms, namely academic success, practical skill and experience ought to consider for the same.
In
a large number of
developed nations, over half of the staff is of women and
in spite of
this, numerous top
positions
are allocated
to male employees in the corporation. It
is argued
that there is a need to
allow
the desired fraction of these posts to female workers. In my opinion, I completely disagree with the above argument
because
senior
positions
ought to
be assigned
on the basis of qualifications,
experience
, and
skills
, not gender.

Firstly
, allotment of higher
positions
should
be based
on the qualification of the employees, not on their sex. The
senior
posts require individuals who are well-qualified,
so
the selection for the concerned place should
be done
while keeping in mind the degrees of the workforce.
For instance
, the recruitment of
senior
personnel in
many
multinational enterprises
is done
in accordance with the educational qualification of an employee.

Another criterion for assigning a top place in
organisations
are job
experience
and practical expertise.
People
who
are trained
and possess a certain set of
skills
add
value to the
companies
and
these kind
of individuals are more suitable for the higher posts.
Moreover
, greater the number of years an individual has devoted to the corporation, more experienced a person is. This results in the maturity to take
important
decisions during the need of the hour.
In other words
,
experience
and practical expertise assist in the growth of the
company
. Take,
for example
, the business employer allot top management
position
to the employee who has excellent interpersonal
skills
along with experience.

In conclusion
, in the
organisations
, the gender neutrality should
be maintained
in the allocation of the
senior
positions
and other norms,
namely
academic success, practical
skill
and
experience
ought to consider for the same.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
17Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes

IELTS essay MANY HIGH-LEVEL POSITIONS IN COMPANIES ARE FILLED BY MEN EVEN THOUGH THE WORKFORCE IN MANY DEVELOPED COUNTRIES IS MORE THAN 50 PERCENT FEMALE. COMPANIES SHOULD BE REQUIRED TO ALLOCATE A CERTAIN PERCENTAGE OF THESE POSITIONS TO WOMEN. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
289 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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