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Some parents think that advertisements are misleading for children while advertisers claim that they provide knowledge Give you opinion v.4

Some parents think that advertisements are misleading for children while advertisers claim that they provide knowledge Give you opinion v. 4
These days people won' t know about new products if there aren’t any advertisements on TVs, social media or bill boards. Some people think that advertisements are confusing children and showing them things, which aren' t excited in real, but advertisers believe that through their ads they are helping and providing knowledge to children. On one hand, parents prefer not having more advertisements that mislead and attract children. First, most companies do their advertisements in a professional way, and exaggerate as much as they can to attract the customers even if the picture isn' t as real. Second, toys ads show to children what tasks the item can do and what its advantage towards other toys, such way kids are encouraged to buy it. However, commercial is the major assistant for companies to sell their stuffs and raise their profits. For example, we can see on the road many advertisements, showing products which look great, but if we go to buy it, it isn' t the same as the picture. On the other hand, advertisers think that their job is to spread knowledge to the customers, not only to encourage them to buy. First, promoters think that showing the main details about their products will attract the viewer and increase his curiosity to have more information about how this product function. Second, commercial companies try to reach their idea to the customers, through the best advertisement to promote the product and encourage people to buy it. However, each advertise has its own way to advertise the items, and for them to have more details about it, will help the buyer to have high knowledge and information. For example, food companies’ ads show an image of their food, but if you order it, it look different since they use Photoshop application, to have a good looking image. As a conclusion, parents think that promotions are confusing children, advertisers think the opposite and they are providing knowledge. In my opinion, I agree with the parent’s point of view, since many people try to buy an item online, when it is delivered it look contrary, that' s why promotions must be more real and stop hesitating with children.
These days
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
Possible spelling mistake found.
won&
#039; t know about new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
if there aren’t any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
on TVs, social media or bill boards.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
are confusing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
and showing them things, which
Possible spelling mistake found.
aren&
#039; t excited in real,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
advertisers believe that through their ads they are helping and providing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
to children.

On one hand, parents prefer not having more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
that mislead and attract
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
.
First
, most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
do their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
Consider replacing "in a professional way" with the adverb for "professional"; e.g., "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
in a professional way
, and exaggerate as much as they can to attract the customers even if the picture
Possible spelling mistake found.
isn&
#039; t as real. Second, toys ads
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
what tasks the item can do and what its advantage towards other toys, such way kids
are encouraged
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
it.
However
, commercial is the major assistant for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
to sell their stuffs and raise their profits.
For example
, we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
on the road
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
, showing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
which look great,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
if we go to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
it, it
Possible spelling mistake found.
isn&
#039; t the same as the picture.

On the other hand
, advertisers
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
that their job is to spread
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
to the customers, not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
to encourage them to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
.
First
, promoters
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
that showing the main
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
about their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
will attract the viewer and increase his curiosity to have more information about how this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
function. Second, commercial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
try to reach their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
to the customers, through the best
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
to promote the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
and encourage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
it.
However
, each advertise has its
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
way to advertise the items, and for them to have more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
about it, will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
the buyer to have high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
and information.
For example
, food
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies’
ads
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
an image of their food,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
if you order it, it
Did you mean "looks"?
look
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
since they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
Photoshop application, to have a
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
good looking
image.

As a conclusion, parents
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
that promotions are confusing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
, advertisers
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
the
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
opposite and
they are providing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
. In my opinion, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the parent’s point of view, since
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
try to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
an item online, when it
is delivered
it look contrary,
Possible spelling mistake found.
that&
#039; s why promotions
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be more real and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
hesitating with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
38Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9Mistakes

IELTS essay Some parents think that advertisements are misleading for children while advertisers claim that they provide knowledge Give you opinion v. 4

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
365 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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