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Many people believe that advertising can have negative effects on customers. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.1

Many people believe that advertising can have negative effects on customers. v. 1
Advertisements have become an industry over recent years. A number of people think that advertisements affect negatively customers. I completely agree with this view and this essay will discuss why advertising has harmful effects on people despite a few potential advantages. On the one hand, there are some concerning effects of advertisements on people. So, how adverts affect people in a negative way? Well-designed advertisement strategies change the buying decisions of customers, and then people want to buy products and services which they do not actually need. In other words, commercials promote people to consume everything by telling people that they feel better. As a result of that, people impulsively spend too much money, which result in the fact that people get into debt. For instance, with the new methods of advertising strategies, the number of people, who are in debt, increased dramatically in Turkey in 2000s. Therefore, it is a justified idea that advertisements have negative effects on consumers. On the other hand, it can be clearly seen that advertisings, however, may have beneficial sides in some extent. Some advertisings such as ones which emphasize the importance of gender equality, or the environmental protection, can play a positive role and raise awareness about social and environmental issues. For example, a TV commercial depicting gender equality in sports went into viral on social media, and millions of people watched it within only a day. Thus, ads might affect positively consumers. In conclusion, advertisements are a part of our life. This essay discussed why ads have indisputable negative impacts on costumers. I fully support the view that advertisements affect the lives of people in the negative way because of the cause of debt.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Advertisements
have become an industry over recent years. A number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
affect
negatively
customers. I completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this view and this essay will discuss why advertising has harmful effects on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
despite a few potential advantages.

On the one hand, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
concerning effects of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, how adverts
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
affect
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
negative
way? Well-designed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
strategies
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
the buying decisions of customers, and then
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
want to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
products and services which they do not actually need.
In other words
, commercials promote
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to consume everything by telling
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
that they feel better.
As a result
of that,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
impulsively
spend too much money, which result in the fact that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
into debt.
For instance
, with the new methods of advertising strategies, the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, who are in debt, increased
dramatically
in Turkey
The article is probably missing here: "in the 2000s".
in 2000s
.
Therefore
, it is a justified
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
negative
effects on consumers.

On the other hand
, it can be
clearly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that
Possible spelling mistake found.
advertisings
,
however
, may have beneficial sides in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
extent.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
Possible spelling mistake found.
advertisings
such as ones which emphasize the importance of gender equality, or the environmental protection, can play a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
role and raise awareness about social and environmental issues.
For example
, a TV commercial depicting gender equality in sports went into viral on social media, and millions of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watched
it within
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
a day.
Thus
, ads might
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
affect
positively
consumers.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
are a part of our life. This essay discussed why ads have indisputable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
negative
impacts on costumers. I
fully
support the view that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
affect
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
negative
way
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the cause of debt.
8.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Many people believe that advertising can have negative effects on customers. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
282 words
8.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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