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some parents buy their children a large number of toys to play with. what are the advantages and disadvantages for the child of having a large number of toys? v.20

some parents buy their children a large number of toys to play with. what are the advantages and disadvantages for the child of having a large number of toys? v. 20
Parents provide a lot of different toys for their children to get indulge in. Although, having a lot of toys could help children to select a toy of their choice to play, but it could also lead to diverting their mind from studies. Children who have numerous toys could be beneficial for them in many ways. Firstly, at an early age, the child learns a lot of new things by involving with a variety of toys which helps to enhance their initial skills. For instance, there are many toys in the market like coloured blocks, number blocks, music instruments and many more, which are bought by their parents purposely to introduce with all the skills. Secondly, having a variety of toys could also help children to develop an image of different professions, in which they involve themselves. For instance, there are different sort of toys and are in the market like doctor's set, architecture set and many more, these types of toys help children to clear their vision for their future career preferences. All these benefits can only be possible if parents buy them several different toys day by day. On the other hand, the downside of having a range of toys could affect the mindset of children, sometimes children get involved too much in games and toys which leads to having less focus on other physical activities. For instance, if a child makes their habit of playing with a variety of toys, they could become lazy and less active. Furthermore, having a lot of toys could also spoil children, which could harm their psychology. For example, if parents take out their children they always seek a new toy, as they have a habit of many toys. So they always demand a new one. Thus, lots of toys could destroy their upbringing in some specific terms. In conclusion, a good selection of toys could benefit children, but there are many factors which could make problems with the development of children.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Parents
provide a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lot
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
toys
for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
indulge in. Although,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
having
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lot
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
toys
could
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to select a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
toy
of their choice to play,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it could
also
lead to diverting their mind from studies.

Children who have numerous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
toys
could be beneficial for them in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
ways.
Firstly
, at an early age, the child learns a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lot
of new things by involving with a variety of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
toys
which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
helps
to enhance their initial
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
.
For instance
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
toys
in the market like
Possible spelling mistake. 'coloured' is British English.
coloured
blocks, number blocks, music instruments and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
more, which are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bought
by their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
purposely
to introduce with all the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
.
Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
having
a variety of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
toys
could
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to develop an image of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
professions, in which they involve themselves.
For instance
, there are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
Possible agreement error. Did you mean "sorts"?
sort
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
toys
and are in the market like doctor's set, architecture set and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
more, these types of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
toys
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
their vision for their future career preferences. All these benefits can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
be possible if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
them several
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
toys
day by day.

On the other hand
, the downside of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
having
a range of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
toys
could affect the mindset of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
involved too much in games and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
toys
which leads to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
having
less focus on other physical activities.
For instance
, if a child
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
their habit of playing with a variety of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
toys
, they could become lazy and less active.
Furthermore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
having
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lot
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
toys
could
also
spoil
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
, which could harm their psychology.
For example
, if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
take out their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
they always seek a new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
toy
, as they have a habit of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
toys
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
they always demand a new one.
Thus
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lots
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
toys
could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
destroy
their upbringing in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
specific terms.

In conclusion
, a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
selection of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
toys
could benefit
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
factors which could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
problems with the development of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay some parents buy their children a large number of toys to play with. what are the advantages and disadvantages for the child of having a large number of toys? v. 20

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
330 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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