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Many people want their country to host an international sporting event. Others believe that international sporting events bring more problems than benefits. Discuss both views and your opinion. v.5

Many people want their country to host an international sporting event. Others believe that international sporting events bring more problems than benefits. v. 5
Organizing high-profile athletic events is considered to be advantageous by an overwhelming majority of people. Even though some individuals do not see eye to eye with this concept, I firmly believe that it will benefit both society and country economically. Some people support the idea of hosting these mega events simply because they acknowledge their nation will become a tourist attraction. When the sports lovers, visit the places to enjoy games, then they will not only purchase tickets of matches, but also pay their bills of hotels which in turn benefit the local economy of that particular region. For example, 2010 Olympics held in London drew in thousands of sports fans who invested a big chunk of money to London; resultantly, it bolsters that province's economical condition by 20%. Besides, for hosting mega events, a large proportion of manpower is required who can arrange each and everything smoothly. This assists unemployed people to get jobs by being part of these occasions. Thus, these people are in favour of this phenomenon as it helps to accelerate the economy and the employment rate. Meanwhile, there are some masses who are in disharmony with this assertion. They are convinced that these high-profile sports events will not only impose security threats but also causes environmental distortion. From the starting of these grand functions to the end, the security of the nation is at stake, especially from opponents and terrorist. The host country has to deploy military force, around the clock investing the astronomical amount of finance. However, these individuals assert that these funds could be better utilized for ameliorating the other aspects of their states such as infrastructure, education and poverty-eradication strategies. Moreover, the people visiting to see such events use the things and throw wherever they want because they do not have feeling of ourselves towards that area which in turn degrade the natural beauty of that particular region. In short, taking these risks into account, some mortals strongly oppose this concept. Conclusively, despite the fact that organizing mega sports events bring some problems, I firmly regard it as a positive move.
Organizing high-profile athletic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
is considered
to be advantageous by an overwhelming majority of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
Even though
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
individuals do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
eye to eye with this concept, I
firmly
believe that it will benefit both society and country
economically
.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
support the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
of hosting these mega
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
simply
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they acknowledge their nation will become a tourist attraction. When the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
lovers, visit the places to enjoy games, then they will not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
tickets of matches,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
pay their bills of hotels which in turn benefit the local economy of that particular region.
For example
, 2010 Olympics held in London drew in thousands of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
fans who invested a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
chunk of money to London;
resultantly
, it bolsters that province's economical condition by 20%.
Besides
, for hosting mega
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
, a large proportion of manpower
is required
who can arrange each and everything
smoothly
. This assists unemployed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
jobs by being part of these occasions.
Thus
, these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are in
Possible spelling mistake. 'favour' is British English.
favour
of this phenomenon as it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
to accelerate the economy and the employment rate.

Meanwhile, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
masses who are in disharmony with this assertion. They
are convinced
that these high-profile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
will not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
impose security threats
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
causes environmental distortion. From the starting of these grand functions to the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
, the security of the nation is at stake,
especially
from opponents and terrorist. The host country
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
deploy military force, around the clock investing the astronomical amount of finance.
However
, these individuals assert that these funds could be better utilized for ameliorating the other aspects of their states such as infrastructure, education and poverty-eradication strategies.
Moreover
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
visiting to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
the things and throw wherever they want
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they do not have feeling of ourselves towards that area which in turn degrade the natural beauty of that particular region. In short, taking these
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risks
into account,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
mortals
strongly
oppose this concept.

Conclusively
, despite the fact that organizing mega
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
bring
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
problems, I
firmly
regard it as a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay Many people want their country to host an international sporting event. Others believe that international sporting events bring more problems than benefits. v. 5

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
349 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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