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Nowadays children watch a lot of TV and play video games. However, some people think that these activities are not good for a child's mental health. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.3

Nowadays children watch a lot of TV and play video games. However, some people think that these activities are not good for a child's mental health. v. 3
Recently, some people argued that watching television and playing video games are not beneficial to younger generations' mental well being. I completely agree with this claim, as these activities promote violence and can deliver a message that are not suitable to young audiences. To begin with, the advent of televisions and vast options of channel to watch, are not helping children to achieve optimal mental health. This activity is readily available with a single click in the remote control, which is very detrimental to younger viewers without parental guidance. In other words, youngsters can access the wide array of tv channel which can have scenes that are not promoting good manners and proper conduct that later on they can adapt. Although there is a regulating body, who is responsible in scrutinizing the episodes that can be watched, we can never assure that all scenes promote a healthy mentality such as adultery and crimes. In addition, playing video games is not suited for children as this exposes them to violence and aggression. The available games, like for example, Contra and Street Fighter are being inspired by battle and power that promotes the principle of 'survival of the fittest" and the weakest link will be perish. This kind of mentality is dangerous to young generations as they can adapt this and apply to their everyday life. In effect, children can be aggressive in the future and will loss the spirit of camaraderie, and always aiming to be the best at the expense of others. In conclusion, I totally believe that watching a lot of tv and playing video games are not healthy to child's mental health because this can promote violence and delinquency that can be acquired later on in their lives.
Recently,
some
people
argued that watching television and playing video
games
are not beneficial to younger generations' mental
well being
. I completely
agree
with this claim, as these activities
promote
violence and can deliver a message that are not suitable to young audiences.

To
begin
with, the advent of televisions and vast options of channel to
watch
, are not helping children to achieve optimal mental health. This activity is
readily
available with a single click in the remote control, which is
very
detrimental to younger viewers without parental guidance.
In other words
, youngsters can access the wide array of
tv
channel which can have scenes that are not promoting
good
manners and proper conduct that later on they can adapt. Although there is a regulating body, who is responsible in scrutinizing the episodes that can be
watched
, we can never assure that all scenes
promote
a healthy mentality such as adultery and crimes.

In addition
, playing video
games
is not suited for children as this exposes them to violence and aggression. The available
games
, like
for example
, Contra and Street Fighter are
being inspired
by battle and power that
promotes
the principle of 'survival of the fittest
"
and the weakest link will be
perish
. This kind of mentality is
dangerous
to young generations as they can adapt this and apply to their everyday life. In effect, children can be aggressive in the future and will loss the spirit of camaraderie, and always aiming to be the best at the expense of others.

In conclusion
, I
totally
believe that watching
a lot of
tv
and playing video
games
are not healthy to child's mental health
because
this can
promote
violence and delinquency that can
be acquired
later on in their
lives
.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay Nowadays children watch a lot of TV and play video games. However, some people think that these activities are not good for a child's mental health. v. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
290 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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