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Some parents believe that children should be given more time on their physical activities while other parents think that study must be priority of toddlers in their early ages. Discuss both views and give your opinion. v.2

Some parents believe that children should be given more time on their physical activities while other parents think that study must be priority of toddlers in their early ages. v. 2
It is review that few fathers and mothers believed that kid must spend a lot of time on athletics whereas numerous believed that academic is the significant goal of preschoolers in their early life period. In this essay I would shed light on both notion and give my own point of view. There are three main reasons why it is imperative to invest more hours on sports. Firstly, when younger children involve in fitness activities then their body muscles are stretched out so blood can easily flow. Such as, if youngsters do swimming their muscles get strong and grow up quickly. Secondly, exercise has a number of benefits. when kiddie do workout those pupil have lack of health problems. In particular, they have a strong heart, lower risk of several diseases. Finally, those youth who are associated with training can improve moods and self-esteem. For instance, structured sports, attending organised events or playground games. However I would agree about the idea that school learning is the superior part of childhood life. One of the thing is that during early ages of kids parents should think about their schoolhouses to learn basic education of life. let' s say, how to talk in a proper manner also how to behave with elders. Another point is that after school timing children must encourage by parents to further revise what they learned in an institute. e. g, hire tutors to elaborate them with more ideas about the same topic that kid does in school. In conclusion after discussing the given idea I come to the point that off-course and games is essential for youngsters but despite of this, education in life should be superior in early period of life to grow up well educated so can easily get dream job to live life in a comfortable way.
It is review that few fathers and mothers believed that kid
must
spend
a lot of
time on athletics whereas numerous believed that academic is the significant goal of preschoolers in their early
life
period. In this essay I would shed light on both notion and give my
own
point of view.

There are three main reasons why it is imperative to invest more hours on sports.
Firstly
, when younger children involve in fitness activities then their body muscles
are stretched
out
so
blood can
easily
flow. Such as, if youngsters
do swimming
their muscles
get
strong and grow up
quickly
.
Secondly
, exercise has a number of benefits.
when
kiddie do workout
those pupil
have lack of health problems.
In particular
, they have a strong heart, lower
risk
of several diseases.
Finally
,
those youth
who
are associated
with training can
improve
moods and self-esteem.
For instance
, structured sports, attending
organised
events
or playground games.

However
I would
agree
about the
idea
that school learning is the superior part of childhood
life
. One of the thing is that during early ages of kids parents should
think
about their schoolhouses to learn basic education of
life
.
let&
#039; s say, how to talk
in a proper manner
also
how to behave with elders. Another point is that after school timing children
must
encourage by parents to
further
revise what they learned in an institute. e. g, hire tutors to elaborate them with more
ideas
about the same topic that kid does in school.

In conclusion
after discussing the
given
idea
I
come
to the point that off-course and games is essential for youngsters
but
despite of
this, education in
life
should be superior in early period of
life
to grow up
well educated
so
can
easily
get
dream job to
live
life
in a comfortable way
.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
6Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
11Mistakes

IELTS essay Some parents believe that children should be given more time on their physical activities while other parents think that study must be priority of toddlers in their early ages. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
303 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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