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Some parents are worried about the increasing level of violence in TV, video games, and other types of entertainment for children’s leisure. How does this affect children? How do you think this problem can be tackled?

Some parents are worried about the increasing level of violence on TV, videos games & other types of entertainment for children’s leisure. How does this affect children? How do you think the problem can be tackled? v. 2
Indeed, proliferation of violent content in a free time entertainment modes of kids, becomes a major concern for guardians. Though, this trend promotes aggressive behavior as well as fearless attitude amid kids, it can be better tackled by parental control along with engaging them in other productive activities. Admittedly, playing wide range of furious games on electronic mediums, results in psychological disturbance. While confronting such content, immature minds engulfed by hostile thoughts like revenge, superiority, which turns them to belligerent personality. To exemplify, availability of threatening options: stabbing, kicking, killing in mostly child centered programs, leads them towards illicit actions. Apart from this, Imitation of Superficial heroes who performs hazardous stunts, is also life threatening activity which children follow. Even, to develop their supremacy in society; fighting, disrespecting, becomes a common trait of their behavior. Thus, vicious content should be prohibited from kids channels. However, To combat with this menace, considerable observation of kids is required. Parents must be vigilant, closely monitor while their kids are playing video games and watching movies. Apart from this, If tv channels are locked, elders can be easily acknowledged about the kind of content, children prefer. Another effective methodology to deal this is engaging them in worthwhile deeds. Promotion of both social, physical skills assist to yield optimistic consequences. Therefore, parents' productive measures aid to avoid deterioration impacts of technology. To conclude, I believe, advanced free time tools of children causes negative impact on their deportment. Close scrutiny of elders along with adoption of alluring strategies should bring fruitful consequences.
Indeed
, proliferation of violent
content
in a free time entertainment modes of
kids
, becomes a major concern for guardians. Though, this trend promotes aggressive behavior
as well
as fearless attitude amid
kids
, it can be better tackled by parental control along with engaging them in other productive activities.

Admittedly
, playing wide range of furious games on electronic mediums, results in psychological disturbance. While confronting such
content
, immature minds engulfed by hostile thoughts like revenge, superiority, which turns them to belligerent personality. To exemplify, availability of threatening options: stabbing, kicking, killing in
mostly
child centered programs, leads them towards illicit actions. Apart from this, Imitation of Superficial heroes who performs hazardous stunts, is
also
life threatening activity which children follow. Even, to develop their supremacy in society; fighting, disrespecting, becomes a common trait of their behavior.
Thus
, vicious
content
should
be prohibited
from
kids
channels.

However
, To combat with this menace, considerable observation of
kids
is required
. Parents
must
be vigilant,
closely
monitor while their
kids
are playing video games and watching movies. Apart from this, If
tv
channels
are locked
, elders can be
easily
acknowledged about the kind of
content
, children prefer. Another effective methodology to deal this is engaging them in worthwhile deeds. Promotion of both social, physical
skills
assist to yield optimistic consequences.
Therefore
, parents' productive measures aid to avoid deterioration impacts of technology.

To conclude
, I believe, advanced free time tools of children causes
negative
impact on their deportment.
Close scrutiny
of elders along with adoption of alluring strategies should bring fruitful consequences.
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IELTS essay Some parents are worried about the increasing level of violence in TV, video games, and other types of entertainment for children’s leisure. How does this affect children? How do you think this problem can be tackled?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
256 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
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Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
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    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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