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Some parents and teachers think that children’s behavior should be strictly controlled. While some think that children should be free to behave. Discuss both views and give your opinion. v.1

Some parents and teachers think that children’s behavior should be strictly controlled. While some think that children should be free to behave. v. 1
A few individuals opine that children's behaviour should be controlled and confined; However, others believe that one should not control their action instead they should be set free to do anything as per their wish. In this essay I will examine both sides of the debate before arriving at a conclusion. Firstly, I will discuss why it is important for parents to watch the activities of their offsprings and control them, and secondly, I will explain about the benefits of leaving them free. It is undeniable to say that children not only learn from their surroundings but also imitate it. Because of their immature understanding of right and wrong, they can be easily influenced by the bad part of the society. It is the tendency of a human being to be attracted towards the things which are restricted and prohibited. Similarly, children want to indulge themselves in activities which are not recommended by the society. Therefore, as a caution they must be supervised and trained to behave appropriately in the society. As per the survey published in The Times of India, it is found that earlier generation children used to behave better than the current generation. However, it is argued by many that children should be set free to do whatever they want, and people must watch there own activities in front of their children. And they themselves will develop the sense of good or bad. If one interfere with the decisions that they make and impose our thoughts on them, they will always look up to their parents for making any decision. Once they are able to make decisions, they will definitely be able to distinguish between moral and immoral values at a later stage of their life. To illustrate, after seeing the result of their wrong behaviour they will themselves emerged as a better personality. In conclusion, I believe we must keep an eye on their activities and correct them but we should not take the whole control. Sometimes all we need to do is watch them taking their own decision and let them decide if it was right or wrong. This way they will build the ability to differentiate between good and bad.
A few individuals opine that children's
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
should
be controlled
and confined;
However
, others believe that one should not control their action
instead
they should
be set
free to do anything as per their wish. In this essay I will examine both sides of the debate
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
arriving at a conclusion.
Firstly
, I will discuss why it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for parents to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
of their
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "offspring", the plural form of the noun 'offspring'?
offsprings
and control them, and
secondly
, I will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
about the benefits of leaving them free.

It is undeniable to say that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
learn from their surroundings
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
imitate it.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
of their immature understanding of right and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
, they can be
easily
influenced by the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
part of the society. It is the tendency of a human being to
be attracted
towards the things which
are restricted
and prohibited.
Similarly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
want to indulge themselves in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
which are not recommended by the society.
Therefore
, as a caution they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be supervised
and trained to behave
appropriately
in the society. As per the survey published in The Times of India, it
is found
that earlier generation
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to behave better than the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
generation.

However
, it
is argued
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
should
be set
free to do whatever they want, and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
there
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
in front of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. And they themselves will develop the sense of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
. If one interfere with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decisions
that they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
and impose our thoughts on them, they will always look up to their parents for making any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decision
. Once they are able to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decisions
, they will definitely be able to distinguish between moral and immoral values at a later stage of their life. To illustrate, after seeing the result of their
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
they will themselves emerged as a better personality.

In conclusion
, I believe we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
an eye on their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
and correct them
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
we should not take the whole control.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Sometimes
all we need to do is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
them taking their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decision
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
them decide if it was right or
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
. This way they will build the ability to differentiate between
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
13Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes
Learn everything you can, anytime you can, from anyone you can; there will always come a time when you will be grateful you did.
Sarah Caldwell

IELTS essay Some parents and teachers think that children’s behavior should be strictly controlled. While some think that children should be free to behave. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
366 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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