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Some people think that prison sentence should not be used in dealing with criminals. Education and job training should be used instead. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.2

Some people think that prison sentence should not be used in dealing with criminals. Education and job training should be used instead. v. 2
While some people believe guilty a crime should not be punished with a jail sentence, others argue that vocational and technical education ought to be used instead. I tend to agree with the argument and in this essay, I will support my view with examples. To begin with, Many Criminals after committed a crime and going to jail sentence. These people are highly likely to sit idle in prison during this time. This useless time during the penitentiary punishment presents more moments to think. To be more specific, Offenders might think about revenge or planning for breaking hazard laws again during that while inimprisonment. A good illustration of this is that, lawbreaker after committing an illegal act goes to jail for a long time due to he is virtually idle in these days, he might think about some ways to vengeance and committing bigger crimes. The government could do preventive measures for this unproductive time and mental free time in prison. The state could provide educating classes and jobs with studying during the offenders’ Jailhouse sentences. In addition, confinement penalty’s days usually present many difficulties for lawbreakers. To put it differently, criminals throughout the occasion in jail have many problems which they try to face them. For instance, one of these problems is that some of these offenders are too young and this penitentiary sentence costs them a fortune. Simply put, living in lockup costs the beneficial years of their life. Clarification needed, In that precious days offenders could have learned useful knowledge or vocational training instead of sitting workless in jail. Therefore, at the end of the confinement punishment, they have many useful skills and beneficial sufficiency which also, contributes to less thinking about committing the illegal act again, during the offenders’ prison while. By way of conclusion, I ones again reaffirm my position that I completely agree with the former state. In my opinion, providing training classes and jobs with education contribute to fewer break laws and illegal actions because of the many facts like making criminal mentally occupied and educating beneficial skills.
While
some
people
believe guilty a crime should not
be punished
with a
jail
sentence, others argue that vocational and technical education ought to be
used
instead
. I tend to
agree
with the argument and in this essay, I will support my view with examples.

To
begin
with,
Many
Criminals after committed a crime and going to
jail
sentence. These
people
are
highly
likely to sit idle in prison during this
time
. This useless
time
during the penitentiary punishment presents more moments to
think
. To be more specific,
Offenders
might
think
about revenge or planning for breaking hazard laws again during that while
inimprisonment
. A
good
illustration of this is that, lawbreaker after committing an illegal act goes to
jail
for a long
time
due to he is
virtually
idle in these days, he might
think
about
some
ways to vengeance and committing bigger crimes. The
government
could do preventive measures for this unproductive
time
and mental free
time
in prison. The state could provide educating classes and jobs with studying during the
offenders’
Jailhouse sentences.

In addition
, confinement penalty’s days
usually
present
many
difficulties for lawbreakers. To put it
differently
, criminals throughout the occasion in
jail
have
many
problems which they try to face them.
For instance
, one of these problems is that
some
of these
offenders
are too young and this penitentiary sentence costs them a fortune.
Simply
put, living in lockup costs the beneficial years of their life. Clarification needed, In that precious days
offenders
could have learned useful knowledge or vocational training
instead
of sitting
workless
in
jail
.
Therefore
, at the
end
of the confinement punishment, they have
many
useful
skills
and beneficial sufficiency which
also
, contributes to less thinking about committing the illegal act again, during the
offenders’
prison while.

By way of conclusion,
I ones
again reaffirm my position that I completely
agree
with the former state. In my opinion, providing training classes and jobs with education contribute to fewer break laws and illegal actions
because
of the
many
facts like making criminal mentally occupied and educating beneficial
skills
.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
15Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think that prison sentence should not be used in dealing with criminals. Education and job training should be used instead. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
345 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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