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Some people think that the amount of noise people make has to be controlled strictly other however say that people are free to make as much noise as they wish. Discuss both view

Some parents and teachers think that children’s behavior should be strictly controlled. While some think that children should be free to behave. v. 2
It is widely acknowledged that high level of sounds are responsible for the development of certain types of health issue, both mental and physical. Some people opine that sound should be controlled firmly for the sake of human health, whereas other are of the opinion that people should have the freedom to produce sound as much as they want. It appears to me that noise must be regulate with great care for the betterment of current noise pollution level. On the one hand, there are number of plausible reasons why the respective authorities should impose a firm regulation on noise level. To begin with, high level of sound induced an impairment of hearing. As a consequence, it has negative impact on human health, especially for the school going children. Exposer to the high level of sound also induce Noise Associated Hearing Disorders which is very common now-a-days. A recent study data shows that noise above 120 decibel are associated with NAHD in children which in turns delay the linguistic development. Besides, high sound frequency also have adverse impact on mental health. People become more stressed and have high level of anxiety if they continuously exposed to the sound. For instance, a study shows that there is a fine relation between the mental health and exposure of noise. In this particular study researcher divided people into two groups and exposed them in two level of sounds and give them puzzles to solve. Their data shows that those who does not exposed to the noise are more relaxed and has higher problem solving ability comparing with other group. On the other hand, some people gives opinion that it is people’s right to make sound. Though some noises are inevitable but making unnecessary sound should be avoided and make it criminal offence to preserve human health. To sum up, it seems to me that the level of sound must be regulate firmly for the shake of both environment and human.
It is
widely
acknowledged that
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high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
level
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sounds
are responsible for the development of certain types of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
issue, both mental and physical.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
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people
opine that
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sound
should
be controlled
firmly
for the sake of
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human
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
, whereas other are of the opinion that
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people
should have the freedom to produce
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sound
as much as they want. It appears to me that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
noise
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be
Consider using the past participle "regulated"?
regulate
with great care for the betterment of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
noise
pollution level.

On the one hand, there are number of plausible reasons why the respective authorities should impose a firm regulation on
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noise
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
level
. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with,
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high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
level
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sound
induced an impairment of hearing. As a consequence, it has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impact on
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human
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
,
especially
for the school going children.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Exposer
to the
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high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
level
of
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sound
also
induce
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Noise
Associated Hearing Disorders which is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
common
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
-a-days. A recent study data
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
that
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noise
above 120
Possible agreement error. The noun 'decibel' seems to be countable, so consider using: "decibels".
decibel
are associated
with
Possible spelling mistake found.
NAHD
in children which in turns delay the linguistic development.

Besides
,
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high
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sound
frequency
also
have adverse impact on mental
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health
.
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People
become more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stressed
and have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
level
of anxiety if they
continuously
exposed to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sound
.
For instance
, a study
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
that there is a fine relation between the mental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
and exposure of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
noise
. In this particular study researcher divided
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
into two groups and exposed them in two
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
level
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sounds
and give them puzzles to solve. Their data
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
that those who does not exposed to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
noise
are more relaxed and has higher problem solving ability comparing with other group.

On the other hand
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
gives
opinion that it is
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people’s
right to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sound
. Though
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some
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noises
are inevitable
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but
making unnecessary
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sound
should
be avoided
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
it criminal
Possible spelling mistake. 'offence' is British English.
offence
to preserve
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
health.

To sum up, it seems to me that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
level
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sound
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be
Consider using the past participle "regulated"?
regulate
firmly
for the shake of both environment and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
.
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IELTS essay Some people think that the amount of noise people make has to be controlled strictly other however say that people are free to make as much noise as they wish. Discuss both view

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
327 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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