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Some parents and teachers believe that children’s behaviour should be strictly controlled, while others think that children should be allowed to grow up in their own way. Discuss both views and give your own opinion. v.1

Some parents and teachers believe that children’s behaviour should be strictly controlled, while others think that children should be allowed to grow up in their own way. v. 1
There are a growing number of people affording to live in large apartment blocks in many cities nowadays. This trend may create certain benefits, but there will also be some drawbacks One evidence strength is that residents in apartment blocks won’t have to deal with housing-surrounding reservations. In other words, offering for private houses may consume people’s time such as lawn-work, if not, they have to pay over extravagant wages for intensive caring for. By contrast, people opt to live in apartments are more at ease caring for the surrounding, moreover, services’ paying may reasonably cheaper than private houses. Another reason is that people having chances to stay closer with their neighbours than privately-owned residents. In America, for example, most private- house residents tend to live with loneliness owing to locating distantly far from others. Last but not least, apartments stimulate lots of brands offering services. Those create space and recreation for residents, especially people at work who need to take a rest and elderly people On the other hand, there are some obvious advantages that may arise. Firstly, the close distance between the walls in the apartment will allow the neighbours to hear what their next-door people act or talk about. This may result in a lack of privacy and by the way, makes the neighbours get sick of hearing obnoxious sounds. For example, there come neighbours who are in a huge conference or who play bass guitar. Secondly, people living in the compact hall may easily get into a fight vis-à-vis with some household issues such as constructing work or. Thirdly, large tower blocks, especially old buildings may lead to an overcrowded living condition as many people have to deal with more stuffy and stressful life either at work or in apartments In summary, people’s options to live in tower blocks will bring about advantages like amenities, less time spent in the house, good relationship and disadvantages like private lacking, conflicts or unbearable living conditions. However, any kind of housing, from blocks to private house, it depends on our adaptation
There are a growing number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
affording to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
in large
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
apartment
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
blocks
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
cities nowadays. This trend may create certain benefits,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
there will
also
be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
drawbacks

One evidence strength is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
residents
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
apartment
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
blocks
won’t
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
deal with housing-surrounding reservations.
In other words
, offering for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
houses
may consume
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
time such as lawn-work, if not, they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
pay over extravagant wages for intensive caring for. By contrast,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
opt to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
apartments
are more at
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ease
caring for the surrounding,
moreover
, services’ paying may
reasonably
cheaper than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
houses
. Another reason is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
having chances to stay closer with their
Possible spelling mistake. 'neighbours' is British English.
neighbours
than
privately
-
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
owned
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
residents
. In America,
for example
, most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
private-
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
house
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
residents
tend to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
with loneliness owing to locating
distantly
far from others. Last
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not least,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
apartments
stimulate lots of brands offering services. Those create space and recreation for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
residents
,
especially
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
at work who need to take a rest and elderly
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
people


On the other hand
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
obvious advantages that may arise.
Firstly
, the close distance between the walls in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
apartment
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
the
Possible spelling mistake. 'neighbours' is British English.
neighbours
to hear what their
next
-door
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
act or talk about. This may result in a lack of privacy and by the way,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
the
Possible spelling mistake. 'neighbours' is British English.
neighbours
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
sick of hearing obnoxious sounds.
For example
, there
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
Possible spelling mistake. 'neighbours' is British English.
neighbours
who are in a huge conference or who play bass guitar.
Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
living in the compact hall may
easily
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
into a fight vis-à-vis with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
household issues such as constructing work or.
Thirdly
, large tower
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
blocks
,
especially
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
buildings may lead to an overcrowded living condition as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
deal with more stuffy and stressful life either at work or in apartments

In summary,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
options to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
in tower
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
blocks
will bring about advantages like amenities, less time spent in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
house
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
relationship and disadvantages like
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
private
lacking, conflicts or unbearable living conditions.
However
, any kind of housing, from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
blocks
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
house
, it depends on our adaptation
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Some parents and teachers believe that children’s behaviour should be strictly controlled, while others think that children should be allowed to grow up in their own way. v. 1

Essay
  American English
2 paragraphs
341 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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