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Do you agree or disagree with following statement? Teachers should not make their social or political views known to students in the classroom. v.8

Teachers should not make their social or political views known to students in the classroom. v. 8
There are many views that the confrontation between the employers and operatives plays an integral role in a successful company. Others think it depends on many factors. This essay will be discussed both sides of the debate, and then I will give my own opinion on the matter. On the one hand, direct communication between supervisors and their workers is important for many reasons. To begin with, it is the mutual understanding the tasks are discussed openly with executives and the operatives will be able to capture their work easily. As the result, they can improve their work performance. Furthermore, the working environment is relaxing which created by the president can motivate his or her employees mentally, therefore, it can improve productivity effectively. For example, in Apple’s employees have opportunities to talk their opinion to produce the best technology devices like iPhone, MacBook, and so on. On the other hand, there are lots of more essential elements. Initially, the salary is the important factor in working. If people can get a well-paid job that allows them to meet their needs and they can be entirely devoted to their duty, so it could lead to an increase in their productivity. Moreover, add some technology devices in the working is really necessary because it would improve the production so that the company will get more profits for them. To sum up, communication between the managers and workers is a very important factor, besides, there are also many effective factors to develop the company.
There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
views that the confrontation between the employers and operatives plays an integral role in a successful
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
. Others
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
it depends on
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
factors
. This essay will
be discussed
both sides of the debate, and then I will give my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
opinion on the matter.

On the one hand, direct communication between supervisors and their workers is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
reasons. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, it is the mutual understanding the tasks
are discussed
openly
with executives and the operatives will be able to capture their work
easily
. As the result, they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their work performance.
Furthermore
, the working environment is relaxing which created by the president can motivate
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
his or her
employees mentally,
therefore
, it can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
productivity
effectively
.
For example
, in Apple’s employees have opportunities to talk their opinion to produce the best technology devices like iPhone, MacBook, and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on.

On the other hand
, there are lots of more essential elements.
Initially
, the salary is the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
factor
in working. If
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a well-paid job that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
them to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
their
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
needs and
they can be
entirely
devoted to their duty,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
it could lead to an increase in their productivity.
Moreover
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
add
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
technology devices in the working is
really
necessary
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the production
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
more profits for them.

To sum up, communication between the managers and workers is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
factor
,
besides
, there are
also
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
effective
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
factors
to develop the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Teachers should not make their social or political views known to students in the classroom. v. 8

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
251 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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