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Do you agree or disagree with the following statement: people who go outside are more successful and happier than people who stay in villages. v.1

: people who go outside are more successful and happier than people who stay in villages. v. 1
The number of professional migrations in underdeveloped countries to richer nations has risen significantly throughout years and have created a great impact on the economies of these developing countries. This essay will examine the main causes of brain drain in poor countries and suggest solutions to this issue. There are some specific reasons that might have led to the departure of educated people. The first possible reason is the lack of satisfactorily educational and research facilities in developing countries. Due to these low-quality facilities, many skilled workers and educated people are prevented from pursuing their career. Therefore, they move abroad to developed countries where they are able to meet more adequate working conditions. Secondly, this issue can be based on these professionals’ desire for better life. This makes human capital flight a natural phenomena because people always want to have more chance to develop themselves as well as gain a better life. While living in their impoverish nations does not give them enough opportunities to use their talents, moving into developed one helps these people to develop ideas and improve their lives. As a result, it is certain that they will migrate to developed countries to meet their standard of living. In order to solve this problem, the government should establish policies to stop this movement. For instance, poor countries must create a better educational system as well as good research facilities as to encourage people to stay and contribute to their own nations. Furthermore, to tackle this matter is that because people move to developed countries to meet their standard of living which they cannot find in their own one, the government should raise the salary of intellectuals to attract them to work in their countries and improve poor living qualities to reassure their lives. In conclusion, brain drain is a leading problem in many developing countries which has caused adverse consequences to the economies of these nations. Therefore, it is essential that the government should be acknowledged about it and take definite actions to address it.
The number of professional migrations in underdeveloped
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
to richer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
has risen
significantly
throughout years and have created a great impact on the economies of these developing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
. This essay will examine the main causes of brain drain in poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
and suggest solutions to this issue.

There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
specific reasons that might have led to the departure of educated
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. The
first
possible reason is the lack of
satisfactorily
educational and research facilities in developing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
. Due to these low-quality facilities,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
skilled workers and educated
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevented
from pursuing their career.
Therefore
, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
abroad to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
where they are able to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
more adequate working conditions.
Secondly
, this issue can
be based
on these professionals’ desire for better life. This
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
human capital flight a natural
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "phenomenon"?
phenomena
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
always want to have more chance to develop themselves
as well
as gain a better life. While living in their impoverish
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
does not give them
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
opportunities to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
their talents, moving into
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
developed
one
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to develop
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.
As a result
, it is certain that they will migrate to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
their standard of living.

In order to solve this problem, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should establish policies to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
this movement.
For instance
, poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
create a better educational system
as well
as
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
research facilities as to encourage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to stay and contribute to their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
.
Furthermore
, to tackle this matter is that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
their standard of living which they cannot find in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
one, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should raise the salary of intellectuals to attract them to work in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
poor living qualities to reassure their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.

In conclusion
, brain drain is a leading problem in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
developing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
which has caused adverse
The usual preposition to use after "consequences" is not "to". Did you mean "consequences of", "consequences for", or "consequences on"?
consequences to
the economies of these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
.
Therefore
, it is essential that the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should
be acknowledged
about it and take
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
definite
actions to address it.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay : people who go outside are more successful and happier than people who stay in villages. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
338 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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