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Some organizations believe that their employees should dress smartly. Others value quality of work above appearance. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. v.2

Some organizations believe that their employees should dress smartly. Others value quality of work above appearance. v. 2
Nowadays, most of the companies have a rule like, the workers must wear the proper dress to look like smart, but, other people say that uniform is not important in their job. Both of them have some advantages such as if people are wearing proper suits in their jobs, it can develop people's condition and if people have a high quality of work or very fast in making a product, clothes are not a problem to them. What is your opinion? Many managers prefer a person who is putting on clean clothes to look professional, because, clothes have the ability to make managers think a worker is smart and efficient. For example, when a person will enter in a company then his clothes are dirty, the people will think he is careless. That is why we have to put nice dresses in public places and inside companies. However, usually, proper dress codes are uncomfortable to them when they do their jobs, so, those things can decrease their work qualities. On the other hand, Others prefer the laborers who are efficient in their place. Earning money follows the people who work hard and more efficient, so, uniform is not important to them. For example, there is a person who can work like 10 people, however, when he dress up, he can not do his job properly. As a result of that uniform, he's working speed will become normal. In this case, the clothes are not very important. In conclusion, most people think that the clothes are very important. Yet, that is not true. Also, the uniforms make us uncomfortable, inefficient and can complicate our working performance. In my opinion, the managers should make a convenient working environment and hire efficient members.
Nowadays, most of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
have a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rule
like, the workers
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
wear the proper
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dress
to look like smart,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
, other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
say that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
uniform
is not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
. Both of them have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
advantages such as if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are wearing proper suits in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
, it can develop
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's condition and if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have a high quality of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
or
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
in making a product,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
clothes
are not a problem to them. What is your opinion?

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
managers prefer a person
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
is putting on clean
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
clothes
to look professional,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
clothes
have the ability to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
managers
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
a worker is smart and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
efficient
.
For example
, when a person will enter in a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
then his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
clothes
are dirty, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
he is careless.
That is
why we
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
put nice
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dresses
in public places and inside
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
.
However
,
usually
, proper
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dress
codes are uncomfortable to them when they do their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
, those things can decrease their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
qualities.

On the other hand
, Others prefer the laborers
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
efficient
in their place. Earning money follows the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
and more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
efficient
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
uniform
is not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to them.
For example
, there is a person
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
like 10
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
,
however
, when he
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dress
up, he can not do his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
properly
.
As a result
of that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
uniform
, he's working speed will become normal.
In this case
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
clothes
are not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
.

In conclusion
, most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
clothes
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
.
Yet
,
that is
not true.
Also
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
uniforms
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
us uncomfortable, inefficient and can complicate our working performance. In my opinion, the managers should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a convenient working environment and hire
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
efficient
members.
13Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
37Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes
A special kind of beauty exists which is born in language, of language, and for language.
Gaston Bachelard

IELTS essay Some organizations believe that their employees should dress smartly. Others value quality of work above appearance. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
290 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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