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Some organisations believe that their employees should dress smartly. Others value quality of work above appearance. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. v.8

Some organisations believe that their employees should dress smartly. Others value quality of work above appearance. v. 8
Constant evolution of modern working culture and environment has initiated various arguments, like some organisations believe that their employees should dress smartly. On the other hand, others value quality of work above appearance. In this essay, I will discuss both sides of the argument and provide my support for the latter view. Firstly, while working in professional environment some organisations expect their employees to be well-dressed. Though, dressing tidy can make a person appear more presentable and professional, but it should not be a mandatory practice. For example, wearing a white cloak to office in Dubai is considered elegant, but it will appear inappropriate in another part of the globe. In this multicultural environment, people can wear regional professional attire to office, the organisation can differ from it which can hurt their sentiments and deplete their performance. To illustrate it further, car market leader Maruti made the dress compulsory in 1988, it initiated distress among workers, eventually causing a 30-day strike leading to huge losses. First and foremost, evolution of technology had reduced the physical human interaction. Presently, conducting meetings, discussions, briefings can be done from anywhere which makes being well dressed insignificant. What should be most valued is the talent, skills and quality of work by an individual. For example, Founder of Facebook, Mr. Mark Zuckerberg is known for development in social networking technology, not for what he wears every day at office. Employees should be valued for their interpersonal skills, practical knowledge, contribution towards the organisational goal. For instance, former president of India Dr. APJ Abdul Kalam was an average dressing person but he is remembered for his contribution towards missile technology. In conclusion, whereas many will argue that being well dressed can make employees look more presentable and professional but as discussed above it can lead to distress among them. In my view, quality of work over appearance is always principal and it should always be valued above someone’s attire.
Constant evolution of modern working culture and environment has initiated various arguments, like
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
Possible spelling mistake. 'organisations' is British English.
organisations
believe that their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
should dress
smartly
.
On the other hand
, others value quality of work above appearance. In this essay, I will discuss both sides of the argument and provide my support for the latter view.

Firstly
, while working in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
professional
environment
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
Possible spelling mistake. 'organisations' is British English.
organisations
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expect
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
to be well-dressed. Though, dressing tidy can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a person appear more presentable and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
professional
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it should not be a mandatory practice.
For example
, wearing a white cloak to office in Dubai
is considered
elegant,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it will appear inappropriate in another part of the globe. In this multicultural environment,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
can wear regional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
professional
attire to office, the
Possible spelling mistake. 'organisation' is British English.
organisation
can differ from it which can hurt their sentiments and deplete their performance. To illustrate it
further
, car market leader
Possible spelling mistake found.
Maruti
made the dress compulsory in 1988, it initiated distress among workers,
eventually
causing a 30-day strike leading to huge losses.

First
and foremost, evolution of technology had
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
the physical human interaction.
Presently
, conducting meetings, discussions, briefings can
be done
from anywhere which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
being
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
well dressed
insignificant. What should be most valued is the talent,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
and quality of work by an individual.
For example
, Founder of Facebook, Mr. Mark Zuckerberg
is known
for development in social networking technology, not for what he wears every day at office.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Employees
should
be valued
for their interpersonal
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
, practical knowledge, contribution towards the
Possible spelling mistake. 'organisational' is British English.
organisational
goal.
For instance
, former president of India Dr. APJ Abdul
Possible spelling mistake found.
Kalam
was an average dressing person
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
he
is remembered
for his contribution towards missile technology.

In conclusion
, whereas
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
will argue that being
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
well dressed
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
look more presentable and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
professional
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
as discussed above it can lead to distress among them. In my view, quality of work over appearance is always principal and it should always
be valued
above someone’s attire.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9Mistakes

IELTS essay Some organisations believe that their employees should dress smartly. Others value quality of work above appearance. v. 8

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
323 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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