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Write about the following topic. Some organisations believe that their employees should dress smartly. Others value quality of work above appearance. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. You should write at least 250 words. v.10

Some organisations believe that their employees should dress smartly. Others value quality of work above appearance. v. 10
It is considered by some employers that dressing properly is a necessity of their staff, while others focus more on work results than their workers’ looks. From my personal perspective, wearing formal clothes is essential for those with client-faced roles, but not for back-end office workers. On the one hand, a lot of firms are strict with their employees’ appearance due to the fact that they represent the face of the companies. Thus, if the workers dress appropriately, it could increase the companies’ credibility, and this in turn impacts profitability. Consequently, these hiring management teams are more concerned with other aspects of the individual, such as their work ethic rather than the clothes they wear. On the other hand, what matters more to some organizations is the performance of their staff and how well their tasks are done. Thus, these companies do not pay attention to the clothing their employees decide to wear in the workplace. In addition, some may even think that their workers should spend time on improving job qualities rather than dressing up. The reason is that a companies’ earnings are mainly from the outcome of an individual work-related results. Finally, in my opinion, it depends on the position of the individuals. are into state whether they ought to have worked-suitable fittings or not. For instance, salespersons need to face customers as a tactic to sell effectively, so such occupation may require their employees to wear formal clothes since they reflect the image of their company. In contrast, most programmers are office-based, and companies which only take their work quality into account. To conclude, different types of job roles are related to workers’ dressing styles. Client-experienced positions would need to dress up because they are company representatives, but backend office workers should concentrate more on good work performance.
It
is considered
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
employers that dressing
properly
is a necessity of their staff, while others focus more on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
results than their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
workers’
looks. From my personal perspective, wearing formal clothes is essential for those with client-faced roles,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not for back-
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
office workers.

On the one hand,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
firms are strict with their employees’ appearance due to the fact that they represent the face of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
.
Thus
, if the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
workers
dress
appropriately
, it could increase the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies’
credibility, and this in turn impacts profitability.
Consequently
, these hiring management teams are more concerned with other aspects of the individual, such as their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
ethic
rather
than the clothes they wear.

On the other hand
, what matters more to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
organizations is the performance of their staff and how well their tasks
are done
.
Thus
, these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
do not pay attention to the clothing their employees decide to wear in the workplace.
In addition
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
may even
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
workers
should spend time on improving job qualities
rather
than dressing up. The reason is that a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies’
earnings are
mainly
from the outcome of an individual work-related results.
Finally
, in my opinion, it depends on the position of the individuals.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
are
into state whether they ought to have worked-suitable fittings or not.
For instance
, salespersons need to face customers as a tactic to sell
effectively
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
such occupation may require their employees to wear formal clothes since they reflect the image of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
.
In contrast
, most programmers are office-based, and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
take their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
quality into account.

To conclude
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
types of job roles
are related
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
workers’
dressing styles. Client-experienced positions would need to dress up
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
representatives,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
backend office
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
workers
should concentrate more on
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
performance.
13Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
16Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes
Learn everything you can, anytime you can, from anyone you can; there will always come a time when you will be grateful you did.
Sarah Caldwell

IELTS essay Some organisations believe that their employees should dress smartly. Others value quality of work above appearance. v. 10

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
301 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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