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Some organisations believe that their employees should dress smartly. Others value quality of work above appearance. Discuss both views and give your opinion. v.19

Some organisations believe that their employees should dress smartly. Others value quality of work above appearance. v. 19
In this day and age, the majority of restaurants have greatly changed the way commercial purpose. They have been controversial issues, whether workers have to wear equal uniform or it it more important their looking. In my perspective, the latter premise is more necessary than the former. First and foremost, there is an undeniable merit that wearing the same uniform at workplace could be led to make a team work. For example, when all employees take on dress smartly, it would be a great them to work efficiently, and result in being a responsibility due to clothes that symbolize the company name. As a consequence, the restaurant might have a positive effect on their customers, which mean customers may be seemed to be good between commuters as they provide service for them with good atmosphere each other. Furthermore, it could be connected to make a profit successful. On the other hand, it is a double edged sword. If the employee only focuses on wearing the uniform rather than ignore tidy appearance, it would be impressed customer bad memory. For instance, if the worker does not tidy looking such as hair and face, customer might think that this restaurant is not a good clearness. Because they could not go into the kitchen. Even if the kitchen is very clean. So they only can judge by looking at employees. Having considered both of sides of the issue, I would argue that cleaning condition is a more vital role in a restaurant than appearance and wearing the dress tidily.
In this day and age, the majority of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
restaurants
have
greatly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
the way commercial purpose. They have been controversial issues, whether workers
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
wear equal uniform or
It seems you either mean "it is", "if it", "it" or there is a comma missing: "it, it".
it it
more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
their looking. In my perspective, the latter premise is more necessary than the former.

First
and foremost, there is an undeniable merit that wearing the same uniform at workplace could
be led
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a team work.
For example
, when all employees take on dress
smartly
, it would be a great them to work
efficiently
, and result in being a responsibility due to clothes that symbolize the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
name. As a consequence, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
restaurant
might have a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
effect on their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
customers
, which mean
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
customers
may
be seemed
to be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
between commuters as they provide service for them with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
atmosphere each other.
Furthermore
, it could
be connected
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a profit successful.

On the other hand
, it is a
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
double edged
sword. If the employee
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
focuses on wearing the uniform
rather
than
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ignore
tidy appearance, it would
be impressed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
customer
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
memory.
For instance
, if the worker does not tidy looking such as hair and face,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
customer
might
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
restaurant
is not a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
clearness.
“Because” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Because
they could not go into the kitchen.
“Even if” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Even if
the kitchen is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
clean.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
can judge by looking at employees.

Having considered both of sides of the issue, I would argue that cleaning condition is a more vital role in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
restaurant
than appearance and wearing the dress
tidily
.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes
Learn everything you can, anytime you can, from anyone you can; there will always come a time when you will be grateful you did.
Sarah Caldwell

IELTS essay Some organisations believe that their employees should dress smartly. Others value quality of work above appearance. v. 19

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
256 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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