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Some employers offer their employees subsidized membership of gyms and sports clubs, believing that this will make their staff healthier and thus more effective at work. Other employers see no benefit in doing so. Consider the arguments from both aspects of this possible debate, and reach a conclusion v.3

Some employers offer their employees subsidized membership of gyms and sports clubs, believing that this will make their staff healthier and thus more effective at work. Other employers see no benefit in doing so. Consider the arguments from both aspects of this possible debate, and reach a conclusion v. 3
Nowadays, health plays an indispensable role in human life. While some managers, finance their staffs with the gym and sport club memberships as they believe that this bestowed a myriad of benefits for work, other employers argued that there is no use in doing this. On the one hand, the idea that employers should provide subsidised membership of gyms and sport clubs for their worker is favoured due to several reasons. Firstly, it is clear that the improvement of workers’ physical health may lead to the growth of productivity. Besides, this can help them balance their work life balance. For example, a staff will work more efficiently if they have time to diminish their stress, which is better to compare to those who spend a huge time on working without physical activities. Secondly, by participating in gym and sport centres, ones’ job satisfaction will increase. In order words, employees would perceive themselves more valuable and thus become more attached to their work places. On the other hand, there are several reasons why memberships at gyms would not be beneficial for the company. Firstly, the price paid for being a member of sport centres may be costly which will cut short unnecessarily company’s funding. This means that funding that once allocated for the development of the company will now use for the sake of employees which do not contribute directly to the performance of the company. Furthermore, workers should concentrate on their vital projects to complete the mission given by employers rather than taking an enormous amount of time to play sports. For example, if memberships are given, some employees might lose focus on their job, bringing negative impact to the overall results of the whole company. In conclusion, although supporting the staffs to apply for a gym or sports club is essential, the cons of approving this policy may worth considering.
Nowadays, health plays an indispensable role in human life. While
some
managers, finance their staffs with the
gym
and
sport
club
memberships
as they believe that this bestowed a myriad of benefits for
work
, other employers argued that there is no
use
in doing this.

On the one hand, the
idea
that employers should provide
subsidised
membership
of
gyms
and
sport
clubs for their worker is
favoured
due to several reasons.
Firstly
, it is
clear
that the improvement of workers’ physical health may lead to the growth of productivity.
Besides
, this can
help
them balance their
work life
balance.
For example
, a staff will
work
more
efficiently
if they have time to diminish their
stress
, which is better to compare to those who spend a huge time on working without physical activities.
Secondly
, by participating in
gym
and
sport
centres
, ones’ job satisfaction will increase. In order words, employees would perceive themselves more valuable and
thus
become more attached to their
work
places.

On the other hand
, there are several reasons why
memberships
at
gyms
would not be beneficial for the
company
.
Firstly
, the price paid for being a member of
sport
centres
may be costly which will
cut
short
unnecessarily
company’s
funding. This means that funding that once allocated for the development of the
company
will
now
use
for the sake of employees which do not contribute
directly
to the performance of the
company
.
Furthermore
, workers should concentrate on their vital projects to complete the mission
given
by employers
rather
than taking an enormous amount of time to play
sports
.
For example
, if
memberships
are
given
,
some
employees might lose focus on their job, bringing
negative
impact to the
overall
results of the whole
company
.

In conclusion
, although supporting the staffs to apply for a
gym
or
sports
club is essential, the cons of approving this policy may worth considering.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes
One language sets you in a corridor for life. Two languages open every door along the way.
Frank Smith

IELTS essay Some employers offer their employees subsidized membership of gyms and sports clubs, believing that this will make their staff healthier and thus more effective at work. Other employers see no benefit in doing so. Consider the arguments from both aspects of this possible debate, and reach a conclusion v. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
311 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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