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Some organisations believe that their employees should dress smartly. Others value quality of work above appearance. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. v.15

Some organisations believe that their employees should dress smartly. Others value quality of work above appearance. v. 15
These day's all companies want to gain a higher reputation than other institutes, by hook or crook. Due to this, one company thinks that their artisans should be well-dressed whereas, other organizations have trusted in their workmen`s efficient and valuable performance. This essay will discuss both sides and I will elaborate on why the quality of good task and well dress up are necessary. Going with the first thought, some sectors believe that there all the employees should be well dressed. Because if all hired hands will dress smartly, It will give an appealing impression on visitors such as other company`s members, consumers and so on. Consequently, they will get more work contracts by which they can obtain benefits to become successful. Apart from this, organizations can accomplish their objectives or a high rank. On the Other hand, other companies think that only a well-dressing sense is not sufficient to achieve a peak of glory. Because of the good quality of the job of workers is very important. For instance, if employees are always dressed very well, but don't have any endeavour skills and not hardworking, then he can become the cause of the defect or failure of their institutions. Therefore, the rank, as well as the reputation of the institution, will surely decline and they can't become much capable to meet their own goals or aims. To conclude, good dressing is quite integral because no organization wants that their workers wear scruffy clothes, but beyond this thought, I believe that well-dress up employees without effective work is totally vain. for instance, if all the hired men will do work hard as well as work efficiently, then their institution can achieve a high reputation by easily meeting their goods or objectives. So, the quality of production is important.
Did you mean "this day" or "These days"?
These day
's all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
want to gain a higher reputation than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
institutes, by hook or crook. Due to this, one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thinks
that their artisans should be well-dressed whereas,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
organizations have trusted in their
The character between 'workmen' and 's' is an accent character, not a standard apostrophe character. Use "workmen’s" (curly apostrophe) or "workmen's" (straight apostrophe).
workmen`s
efficient and valuable performance. This essay will discuss both sides and I will elaborate on why the quality of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
task and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
well
dress up are necessary.

Going with the
first
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
sectors believe that there all the employees should be
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
well dressed
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
if all hired hands will dress
smartly
, It will give an appealing impression on visitors such as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
The character between 'company' and 's' is an accent character, not a standard apostrophe character. Use "company’s" (curly apostrophe) or "company's" (straight apostrophe).
company`s
members, consumers and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on.
Consequently
, they will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
contracts by which they can obtain benefits to become successful. Apart from this, organizations can accomplish their objectives or a high rank.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Other
hand,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
a well-dressing sense is not sufficient to achieve a peak of glory.
“Because” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Because
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
quality of the job of workers is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
.
For instance
, if employees are always dressed
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
well
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
don't have any
Possible spelling mistake. 'endeavour' is British English.
endeavour
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
and not hardworking, then he can become the cause of the defect or failure of their institutions.
Therefore
, the rank, as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
well
as the reputation of the institution, will
surely
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
decline and
they can't become much capable to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
goals or aims.

To conclude
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
dressing is quite integral
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
no organization wants that their workers wear scruffy clothes,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
beyond this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
, I believe that well-dress up employees without effective
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
is
totally
vain.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
for
instance, if all the hired
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
will do
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
well
as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
efficiently
, then their institution can achieve a high reputation by
easily
meeting their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
goods
or objectives.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, the quality of production is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay Some organisations believe that their employees should dress smartly. Others value quality of work above appearance. v. 15

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
298 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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