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Fast-food companies should not be allowed to give away free toys with their food. To what extend do you agree? v.3

Fast-food companies should not be allowed to give away free toys with their food. v. 3
In the modern society, many business strategies are becoming a concern for a lot of citizens. Some people think that giving children toys in junk meal restaurants should be prohibited. I firmly agree with this statement. In this essay, I will examine some reasons to support my ideas. To begin with, it can prevent from increasing obesities in children. After many junk restaurants decided to offer free toys to children, the number of consumers has been rising in worldwide. According to some studies, the number of purchasers has been increasing by around 30 percent since they provide toys to children without paying. Additionally, it can cause some health issues such as heart diseases, lung diseases, and other problems are associated with their bodies, consuming a lot of greasy food makes children obesities which is one of the huge issues we are facing in the city-centric life. Another reason is that prohibiting giving toys without charging with unhealthy meals can cut down the unnecessary waste from the environment. Some environmental experts said, since fast cuisine restaurants provide toys, the number of rubbishes has been increased, these days. For example, many people who are working in the office usually have fast food as their meals, many adults do not have interests in toys. Consequently, the amount of toys can be gone into the rubbish bin and as a result, it produces a majority of trash and makes some environmental issues. In conclusion, I agree with the idea of banning giving toys without paying for children in fast food restaurants.
In the modern society,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
business strategies are becoming a concern for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
citizens.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that giving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
toys
in junk meal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
restaurants
should
be prohibited
. I
firmly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this statement. In this essay, I will examine
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
reasons to support my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, it can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
from increasing
Possible spelling mistake found.
obesities
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. After
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
junk
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
restaurants
decided to offer free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
toys
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
, the number of consumers has been rising in worldwide. According to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
studies, the number of purchasers has been increasing by around 30 percent since they provide
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
toys
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
without paying.
Additionally
, it can cause
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
health issues such as heart diseases, lung diseases, and other problems
are associated
with their bodies, consuming
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
greasy food
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
Possible spelling mistake found.
obesities
which is one of the huge issues we are facing in the city-centric life.

Another reason is that prohibiting giving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
toys
without charging with unhealthy meals can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cut
down the unnecessary waste from the environment.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
environmental experts said, since
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
cuisine
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
restaurants
provide
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
toys
, the number of rubbishes has
been increased
, these days.
For example
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who are working in the office
usually
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
food as their meals,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
adults do not have interests in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
toys
.
Consequently
, the amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
toys
can
be gone
into the rubbish bin and
as a result
, it produces a majority of trash and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
environmental issues.

In conclusion
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
of banning giving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
toys
without paying for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
food
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
restaurants
.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay Fast-food companies should not be allowed to give away free toys with their food. v. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
257 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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