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Some jobs are based at a single work place where the hours are the same each day, while other jobs involve frequent travel and irregular working hours. Discuss the advantage of both types of job and give your own opinion about which one is best. v.1

Some jobs are based at a single work place where the hours are the same each day, while other jobs involve frequent travel and irregular working hours. Discuss the advantage of both types of job and give your own opinion about which one is best. v. 1
There are many people in the world that would rather to work in a place that have same working hours every day or to work in a job with flexible working hours. Even though both of them are quite ideal for a work place, people would prefer one more than the other. Therefore, in this essay we are going to talk about the advantages of those types of job and select which one is the best. On one hand, I believe that working the same hours every day is an important advantage. Considering the fact that people can have the ability to organise their time, outside the working hours, as they want is a plus at their life. From my experience, I used to work in Greece in office 9am to 5pm, Monday to Friday and always I had prepared my plans for this days. In addition, it had been a lot easier for my family and friends to hang out and having some fun as the fixed working hours are giving a significant touch in our lives. On the other hand, I guess that having a job with irregular shifts and frequent travels is also nice. A good example of this is the kind of freedom that we can obtain from this type of job is something special. For instance, working while travelling is an incredible experience because people are gaining much more knowledge from countries that they didn't know before. To sum up, I think working on a daily bases at the same hours, people might feel that most of the times can control much better their individual life and they have opportunities such as staying with their families and good friends, thing that you can't easily do when you have flexible shifts.
There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in the world that would
rather
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
in a place that have same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
every day or to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
with flexible
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
.
Even though
both of them are quite ideal for a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
place,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
would prefer one more than the other.
Therefore
, in this essay we are going to talk about the advantages of those types of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
and select which one is the best.

On one hand, I believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
every day is an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
advantage. Considering the fact that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can have the ability to
Possible spelling mistake. 'organise' is British English.
organise
their time, outside the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
, as they want is a plus at their life. From my experience, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
in Greece in office 9am to 5pm, Monday to Friday and always I had prepared my plans for
It seems that a possessive apostrophe is missing.
this days
.
In addition
, it had been a lot easier for my family and friends to hang out and having
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
fun as the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fixed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
are giving a significant touch in our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.

On the other hand
, I guess that having a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
with irregular shifts and frequent travels is
also
nice. A
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
example of this is the kind of freedom that we can obtain from this type of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
is something special.
For instance
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
while travelling is an incredible experience
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are gaining much more knowledge from countries that they didn't know
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
.

To sum up, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
on a daily bases at the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
might feel that
Consider using "most of the time" if you mean "usually" or "very often".
most of the times
can control much better their individual
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
life and
they have opportunities such as staying with their families and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
friends, thing that you can't
easily
do when you have flexible shifts.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
26Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes

IELTS essay Some jobs are based at a single work place where the hours are the same each day, while other jobs involve frequent travel and irregular working hours. Discuss the advantage of both types of job and give your own opinion about which one is best. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
295 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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