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Some jobs are based at single work place where the hours are the same each day, while other jobs involve frequent travel and irregular working hours v.1

Some jobs are based at single work place where the hours are the same each day, while other jobs involve frequent travel and irregular working hours v. 1
Some occupations require you to work only at one place that you have to the same routine work, whereas other careers which you have to move from place to place with an unbalanced working hours. From my part of views, I think that I prefer travel-working to working at single work place. Although working at single work place has it own advantages, it also has some drawbacks. First of all you can not feel free and convenient. For example, you will work with another person as the teammate, when it comes to that, there will create too may opinions and it takes a lot of time to deal with. Finally, you are not only stressful but also have to be controlled by the boss. On the other hand, I am on the side that people should do as a travel-working for some reasons. Firstly, you can explore new things that you have not experienced if you just keep staying at one place. Moreover, you can control over your work. In other words, you can work wherever you want or do anything you want without complaining from others. In addition, you can keep all the profits. For that reason, you can use money to improve and expand your business. Last but not least, you can also have some flexible hours so it is certainly that you can also spend time on your family more, In conclusion, travel - working and working at the single work place also have it own advantages. In my opinion, I strongly agree with the idea that you should take freelance jobs
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
occupations require you to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
at one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
that you
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
the same routine
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
, whereas
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
careers which you
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
with an unbalanced
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "hour"?
hours
. From my part of views, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that I prefer travel-working to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
at single
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
place.

Although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
at single
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
has it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
advantages, it
also
has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
drawbacks.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
you can not feel free and convenient.
For example
, you will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
with another person as the teammate, when it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
to that, there will create too may opinions and it takes
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
time to deal with.
Finally
, you are not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
stressful
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
be controlled
by the boss.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, I am on the side that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
should do as a travel-working for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
reasons.
Firstly
, you can explore new things that you have not experienced if you
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
staying at one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
.
Moreover
, you can control over your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
. In
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
words, you can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
wherever you want or do anything you want without complaining from others.
In addition
, you can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
all the profits. For that reason, you can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
money to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
and expand your business. Last
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not least, you can
also
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
flexible hours
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
it is
certainly
that you can
also
spend time on your family more,

In conclusion
, travel
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
-
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
at the single
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
also
have it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
advantages. In my opinion, I
strongly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
that you should take freelance
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
jobs
16Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
22Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes

IELTS essay Some jobs are based at single work place where the hours are the same each day, while other jobs involve frequent travel and irregular working hours v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
264 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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