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In recent years, many small local shops have closed because customers travel to large shopping centres or malls to do their shopping. Is this a positive or a negative development? v.4

In recent years, many small local shops have closed because customers travel to large shopping centres or malls to do their shopping. Is this a positive or a negative development? v. 4
Nowadays, some little local stores have been closing due to customers are doing their shopping in distant larger stores. Whereas large shopping centres can offer a broad range of products, in my opinion this is a negative development, since local shops can better serve the closer communities with fresh food. On one hand, usually bigger shopping centres are part of an international entity which is present in several countries abroad. Thus, this kind of shops can offer to its clients a wide range of different brands and products. For instance, not only some special coffee brands but also international seasoning can only be found in big shopping malls. Consequently, large shopping centres are prefered for many people when they want to buy some specific product. On the other hand, small local markets do not need to have a huge food warehouse, since the quantity is supposed to answer a local community demand only. Hence, these shops tend to have more fresh food than bigger ones. For example, there is no need for stocking high quantity of either fruits or metas, because the same people visit the shop for buying them. Therefore, the products stay for just a few days on the shelves until they are bought for someone. In conclusion, the large shopping centres can offer all kind of products from different parts of the world; however, the local markets are better in offering fresh food for their customers. Then, I believe, having few local markets is a negative development.
Nowadays,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
stores have been closing due to customers are doing their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
in distant larger stores. Whereas large
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
Possible spelling mistake. 'centres' is British English.
centres
can offer a broad range of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
, in my opinion this is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
development, since
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shops
can better serve the closer communities with fresh food.

On one hand,
usually
bigger
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
Possible spelling mistake. 'centres' is British English.
centres
are part of an international entity which is present in several countries abroad.
Thus
, this kind of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shops
can offer to its clients a wide range of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
brands and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
.
For instance
, not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
special coffee brands
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
international seasoning can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
be found
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
malls.
Consequently
, large
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
Possible spelling mistake. 'centres' is British English.
centres
are
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "preferred", the past tense form of the verb 'prefer'?
prefered
for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
when they want to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
specific product.

On the other hand
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
markets do not need to have a huge food warehouse, since the quantity
is supposed
to answer a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
community demand
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
.
Hence
, these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shops
tend to have more fresh food than bigger ones.
For example
, there is no need for stocking high quantity of either fruits or
Possible spelling mistake found.
metas
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the same
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
visit the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shop
for buying them.
Therefore
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
stay for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
a few days on the shelves until they are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bought
for someone.

In conclusion
, the large
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
Possible spelling mistake. 'centres' is British English.
centres
can offer all kind of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
parts of the world;
however
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
markets are better in offering fresh food for their customers. Then, I believe, having few
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
markets is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
development.
13Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
20Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Mistakes

IELTS essay In recent years, many small local shops have closed because customers travel to large shopping centres or malls to do their shopping. Is this a positive or a negative development? v. 4

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
250 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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