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Some people believe that face to face communication is always more powerful than written communication. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give your own opinion and include relevant examples. v.4

Some people believe that face to face communication is always more powerful than written communication. with this statement? Give your own opinion and include relevant examples. v. 4
Younger people these days prefer to shop in their idle time. This essay will first discuss the reasons for such a trend and then recommend how they can be motivated to pursue other hobbies. The prime reason young people go out for shopping is the of lack of a social circle. In the past, the younger generation tends to spend a lot more time in their neighbourhoods, or with friends and family. They used to meet them in person because they understood the benefits of such interactions. However, with the advent of online social platforms, a lot of young people have moved away from the old way of developing relationships and aim to spend their free time in shopping. Another reason that contributed to this trend is the better access to money. Young people have more financial resources at their disposal than their parents. Hence, they can spend and enjoy much more on shopping as compared to the youth in the old days. However, by educating about the benefits of sports, the younger generation can be encouraged to pursue it instead of shopping only. Due to hectic and stressful lifestyles, young masses find solace in shopping, however, they are not aware that sports are much better stress relievers and stimulate the production of happy hormones. For example, the recent research report concluded that people in the age of 15-30 who are involved in sports are 50 percent happier and relaxed than those who go out for shopping. In conclusion, the availability of money and proper friend's circle has increased the interest of the younger generation towards shopping. However, by creating awareness about the usefulness of the physical activities, they can be directed towards spending their idle time in sports.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Younger
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
these days prefer to shop in their idle
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
. This essay will
first
discuss the reasons for such a trend and then recommend how they can
be motivated
to pursue other hobbies.

The prime reason
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
go out for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
is the of lack of a social circle. In the past, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
younger
generation tends to spend a lot more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
in their
Possible spelling mistake. 'neighbourhoods' is British English.
neighbourhoods
, or with friends and family. They
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
them in person
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they understood the benefits of such interactions.
However
, with the advent of online social platforms,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
moved
away from the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
way of developing relationships and aim to spend their free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
. Another reason that contributed to this trend is the better access to money.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have more financial resources at their disposal than their parents.
Hence
, they can spend and enjoy much more on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
as compared to the youth in the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
days.

However
, by educating about the benefits of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
younger
generation can
be encouraged
to pursue it
instead
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
. Due to hectic and stressful lifestyles,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
masses find solace in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
,
however
, they are not aware that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
are much better
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
relievers and stimulate the production of happy hormones.
For example
, the recent research report concluded that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in the age of 15-30 who
are involved
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
are 50 percent happier and relaxed than those who go out for shopping.

In conclusion
, the availability of money and proper friend's circle has increased the interest of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
younger
generation towards
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
.
However
, by creating awareness about the usefulness of the physical activities, they can
be directed
towards spending their idle
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
Speak a new language so that the world will be a new world.
Rumi

IELTS essay Some people believe that face to face communication is always more powerful than written communication. with this statement? Give your own opinion and include relevant examples. v. 4

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
289 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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