Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Some governments try to control the way a national language is used. For example, they may restrict the introduction of foreign words, or the use of dialects, or they may demand that a certain language be used in schools. What are the benefits and disadvantages of these policies? Do you think they can ever be effective? v.1

Some governments try to control the way a national language is used. For example, they may restrict the introduction of foreign words, or the use of dialects, or they may demand that a certain language be used in schools. What are the benefits and disadvantages of these policies? Do you think they can ever be effective? v. 1
Often governments try to control the use of any specific language at different levels and it begins from schools. Basically, the government wants to underscore on state language other than anything. Such policies have some advantages and demerits too. A comparative discussion is done in the following paragraphs. First of all, the government puts emphasis on the mother tongue of the state so that the kids could learn the state language effectively and communicate. As a result, the kids turn expert on national language. Further, as they are expert, communication is easier for them inside the national boundary. Actually, when kids are in schools and they are to learn several languages, it becomes difficult for them to cope with the words, dialects and other linguistic issues. Thereby, importance on certain language in school is reasonable. For instance, in most of the Asian countries, it is compulsory to study the mother tongue in elementary schools. On the other hand, teaching a certain language may create a sense of excessive dependency on that specific language. As a result, it may hamper their communication skills in a different perspective. They will lose confidence to communicate in the international environment. My 5-year old daughter, Samantha, is in her elementary school here in France. The school strictly forbids using English or any other language than French during the school hours. The intentions are respectable and kids are learning French perfectly. But at the same time, kids are losing their ability to communicate in English or in other international languages. Learning it in a later phase of life is less effective than learning at an early age, I think. Finally, after the aforesaid arguments, I believe adoption of such policies is ineffective. The ratio of demerits is almost equal to its benefits. So, if we justify the needs, the outcomes will be under satisfactory level. In a true sense, there are no advantages of this initiative at all, mere a waste of time. Hence, governments should deeply investigate the matter to make the right choice.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Often
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
try to control the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of any specific
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
at
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
levels and it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begins
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
.
Basically
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
wants to underscore on state
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
than anything. Such policies have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
advantages and demerits too. A comparative discussion
is done
in the following paragraphs.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
puts emphasis on the mother tongue of the state
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
could learn the state
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
effectively
and communicate.
As a result
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
turn expert on national
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
.
Further
, as they are expert, communication is easier for them inside the national boundary. Actually, when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
are in
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
schools and
they are to learn several
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
languages
, it becomes difficult for them to cope with the words, dialects and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
linguistic issues. Thereby, importance on certain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
is reasonable.
For instance
, in most of the Asian countries, it is compulsory to study the mother tongue in elementary schools.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, teaching a certain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
may create a sense of excessive dependency on that specific
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
.
As a result
, it may hamper their communication
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
in a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
perspective. They will lose confidence to communicate in the international environment.

My 5-year
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
daughter, Samantha, is in her elementary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
here in France. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
strictly
forbids using English or any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
than French during the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
hours. The intentions are respectable and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
are learning French
perfectly
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
at the same time,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
are losing their ability to communicate in English or in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
languages
. Learning it in a later phase of life is less effective than learning at an early age, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
.

Finally
, after the aforesaid arguments, I believe adoption of such policies is ineffective. The ratio of demerits is almost equal to its benefits.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, if we justify the needs, the outcomes will be under satisfactory level. In a true sense, there are no advantages of this initiative at all, mere a waste of time.
Hence
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
should
deeply
investigate the matter to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the right choice.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
30Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes

IELTS essay Some governments try to control the way a national language is used. For example, they may restrict the introduction of foreign words, or the use of dialects, or they may demand that a certain language be used in schools. What are the benefits and disadvantages of these policies? Do you think they can ever be effective? v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
339 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts