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Fresh water has always been a limited resource in some parts of the world. Today, however, growing worldwide demand has made this a global problem. What are the causes of the increased demand and what measure could governments and individuals take to respond to this problem? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words. v.7

Fresh water has always been a limited resource in some parts of the world. Today, however, growing worldwide demand has made this a global problem. What are the causes of the increased demand and what measure could governments and individuals take to respond to this problem? v. 7
Ever since the dawn of mankind, in many drier regions throughout the world, fresh water had been considered to be a valuable natural resource due to it being rather rare. This scarcity of water had contributed to a wide range of long-term problems that was yet to be solved. With the ongoing rise of human population, the problems were exacerbated even more compared to past generations. Irrespective of human attempts to alleviate the increasing demands and overuse of water, there has been no successful outcomes. Reasons for the failures stemmed mainly from the industry. The fourth Industrial Evolution has seen fast-paced changes in various fields, including technology. In order to fulfil the changes, human beings have to take a huge amount of resources from nature, whereby water is the main target. Together with the increasing population density, the water in the aforementioned problems is worsened further. The shortage of fresh water can be clearly exemplified in Africa, where enormous people cannot get access to clean water. To take one step further in solving this urgent issue, international authorities and individuals should take precautions against the use of water. The governments should enforce a law to regulate the amount of water that each resident use every day. Were there to be situations in which people do not comply with the law, punishments ought to be used to ensure that everyone obey the law. Moreover, infrastructures that primarily served to purify seawater into domestic water should be constructed to meet the standard requirements of clean water. Nevertheless, the problem cannot be solved easily without the aid of everyone around the world. Each individual should be aware of the catastrophic impact that the disappearance of water could bring so as to bring the lack to an end. In conclusion, the increasing needs for water is undoubtedly an emergent problem that was caused by many means. All people around the world, regardless of races, should take part in tackling the problem.
Ever since the dawn of mankind, in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
drier regions throughout the world, fresh
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
had
been considered
to be a valuable natural resource due to it being
rather
rare. This scarcity of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
had contributed to a wide range of long-term
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
that was
yet
to
be solved
. With the ongoing rise of human population, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
were exacerbated
even more compared to past generations.

Irrespective of human attempts to alleviate the increasing demands and overuse of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
, there has been no successful outcomes. Reasons for the failures stemmed
mainly
from the industry. The fourth Industrial Evolution has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
-paced
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
in various fields, including technology. In order to fulfil the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
, human beings
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
take a huge amount of resources from nature, whereby
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
is the main target. Together with the increasing population density, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
in the aforementioned
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
is worsened
further
. The shortage of fresh
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
can be
clearly
exemplified in Africa, where enormous
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
cannot
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
access to clean water.

To take one step
further
in solving this urgent issue, international authorities and individuals should take precautions against the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
. The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
should enforce a law to regulate the amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
that each resident
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
every day. Were there to be situations in which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
do not comply with the law, punishments ought to be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to ensure that everyone obey the law.
Moreover
, infrastructures that
primarily
served to purify seawater into domestic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
should
be constructed
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
the standard requirements of clean
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
.
Nevertheless
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
cannot
be solved
easily
without the aid of everyone around the world. Each individual should be aware of the catastrophic impact that the disappearance of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
could bring
'So as to' expresses purpose and is used in formal texts. Consider using "to"
so as to
bring the lack to an
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
.

In conclusion
, the increasing needs for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
is
undoubtedly
an emergent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
that
was caused
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
means. All
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
around the world, regardless of races, should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
take part
in tackling the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
18Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes
To learn a language is to have one more window from which to look at the world.
Chinese Proverb

IELTS essay Fresh water has always been a limited resource in some parts of the world. Today, however, growing worldwide demand has made this a global problem. What are the causes of the increased demand and what measure could governments and individuals take to respond to this problem? v. 7

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
327 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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