Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

There are many ways of preventing crimes that are much better than prison. v.1

There are many ways of preventing crimes that are much better than prison. v. 1
It is believed that there are other effective and efficient methods for anticipating crimes, besides prison. To a certain point, I would agree with the statement, but each people have their own different personalities. Some people could be developed through social and humanistic approaches, but there are others who can only be disciplined through imprisonment. On the one hand, some people believe that the government should find other alternative ways in preventing crimes besides jail punishment. These people think that crimes could be prevented through humanistic approaches, such as giving campaigns and awareness of crimes through social media. And then the government could also prevent crimes through some holistic approaches, such as giving some religious seminars about the negative effect of crimes. These people believe that these humanistic methods are more effective in reducing the number of crimes than prison. On the other hand, it is a fact that every criminal has his/her different personality as each of them came from different cultures and backgrounds. Some people have been raised in a tough neighbourhood such as being raised in a conflict area or living in a poor and slum suburb. As a result, these people are familiar with violence and crimes. Humanistic and social approaches could not be implemented for these people, and imprisonment would be the most effective methods for them. In conclusion, it is said that there should be another way in preventing crimes besides prison. I personally believe that both methods should be combined. Governments should start with a more humanistic approach in preventing crimes by giving campaigns to their people. Once they found that the method is ineffective then they should change the method into warnings and fines. And if these methods still could not reduce the number of crimes, then governments should implement the imprisonment.
It
is believed
that there are
other
effective and efficient
methods
for anticipating
crimes
,
besides
prison. To a certain point, I would
agree
with the statement,
but
each
people
have their
own
different
personalities.
Some
people
could
be developed
through
social and
humanistic
approaches
,
but
there are others who can
only
be disciplined
through
imprisonment.

On the one hand,
some
people
believe that the
government
should find
other
alternative ways in preventing
crimes
besides
jail punishment. These
people
think
that
crimes
could be
prevented
through
humanistic
approaches
, such as giving campaigns and awareness of
crimes
through
social media. And then the
government
could
also
prevent
crimes
through
some
holistic
approaches
, such as giving
some
religious seminars about the
negative
effect of
crimes
. These
people
believe that these
humanistic
methods
are more effective in reducing the number of
crimes
than prison.

On the
other
hand, it is a fact that every criminal has his/her
different
personality as each of them came from
different
cultures and backgrounds.
Some
people
have
been raised
in a tough
neighbourhood
such as
being raised
in a conflict area or living in a poor and slum suburb.
As a result
, these
people
are familiar with violence and
crimes
.
Humanistic
and social
approaches
could not
be implemented
for these
people
, and imprisonment would be the most effective
methods
for them.

In conclusion
, it
is said
that there should be another way in preventing
crimes
besides
prison. I
personally
believe that both
methods
should
be combined
.
Governments
should
start
with a more
humanistic
approach
in preventing
crimes
by giving campaigns to their
people
. Once they found that the
method
is ineffective then they should
change
the
method
into warnings and fines. And if these
methods
still
could not
reduce
the number of
crimes
, then
governments
should implement the imprisonment.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
49Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay There are many ways of preventing crimes that are much better than prison. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
300 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts