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There are many ways of preventing crimes that are much better than prison. v.1

There are many ways of preventing crimes that are much better than prison. v. 1
It is believed that there are other effective and efficient methods for anticipating crimes, besides prison. To a certain point, I would agree with the statement, but each people have their own different personalities. Some people could be developed through social and humanistic approaches, but there are others who can only be disciplined through imprisonment. On the one hand, some people believe that the government should find other alternative ways in preventing crimes besides jail punishment. These people think that crimes could be prevented through humanistic approaches, such as giving campaigns and awareness of crimes through social media. And then the government could also prevent crimes through some holistic approaches, such as giving some religious seminars about the negative effect of crimes. These people believe that these humanistic methods are more effective in reducing the number of crimes than prison. On the other hand, it is a fact that every criminal has his/her different personality as each of them came from different cultures and backgrounds. Some people have been raised in a tough neighbourhood such as being raised in a conflict area or living in a poor and slum suburb. As a result, these people are familiar with violence and crimes. Humanistic and social approaches could not be implemented for these people, and imprisonment would be the most effective methods for them. In conclusion, it is said that there should be another way in preventing crimes besides prison. I personally believe that both methods should be combined. Governments should start with a more humanistic approach in preventing crimes by giving campaigns to their people. Once they found that the method is ineffective then they should change the method into warnings and fines. And if these methods still could not reduce the number of crimes, then governments should implement the imprisonment.
It
is believed
that there are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
effective and efficient
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
methods
for anticipating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
,
besides
prison. To a certain point, I would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the statement,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
personalities.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
could
be developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
through
social and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humanistic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
approaches
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
there are others who can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
be disciplined
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
through
imprisonment.

On the one hand,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should find
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
alternative ways in preventing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
besides
jail punishment. These
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
could be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevented
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
through
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humanistic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
approaches
, such as giving campaigns and awareness of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
through
social media. And then the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
could
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
through
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
holistic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
approaches
, such as giving
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
religious seminars about the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effect of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
. These
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humanistic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
methods
are more effective in reducing the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
than prison.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, it is a fact that every criminal has his/her
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
personality as each of them came from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
cultures and backgrounds.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have
been raised
in a tough
Possible spelling mistake. 'neighbourhood' is British English.
neighbourhood
such as
being raised
in a conflict area or living in a poor and slum suburb.
As a result
, these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are familiar with violence and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Humanistic
and social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
approaches
could not
be implemented
for these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, and imprisonment would be the most effective
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
methods
for them.

In conclusion
, it
is said
that there should be another way in preventing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
besides
prison. I
personally
believe that both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
methods
should
be combined
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Governments
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
with a more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humanistic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
approach
in preventing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
by giving campaigns to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. Once they found that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
method
is ineffective then they should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
method
into warnings and fines. And if these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
methods
still
could not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
, then
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
should implement the imprisonment.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
49Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay There are many ways of preventing crimes that are much better than prison. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
300 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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