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Some governments say how many children a family can here in their country. They may control the number of children someone has through taxes. It is sometimes necessary and right for a government to control the population in this way. v.2

Some governments say how many children a family can here in their country. They may control the number of children someone has through taxes. It is sometimes necessary and right for a government to control the population in this way. v. 2
It is certainly very understandable that some government should start looking at ways of limiting their population to sustainable figure. In the past, populations were partly regulated by frequent war and widespread disease. But in recent years the effects of those factors have been diminished. Country can be faced with a population that is growing much faster than she nations food resources or employment opportunities and whose members can be condemned to poverty by the need to feed extra mouths. They identify population control as a means living standards. But how should it be achieved? Clearly, this whole area is a very delicate personal and cultural issue. Many people feel that this is not a matter for the state. They feel this is one area of life where they have the right to make decision for themselves. For that reason, it would seem that the best approach would be to work by persuasion rather than compulsion. This could be done by a process of education that points out the way a smaller family can mean am improved quality of life for the family members, as well as less strain on the country perhaps very limited resource. This is the preferred way. Of course, if this does not succeeded within a reasonable time scale, it may be necessary to consider other measures. Such as tax incentives or child benefit payments for small families only. These are midway between persuasion and compulsion. So yes, it is sometimes necessary, but governments should try very hard to persuade first. They should also remember that is very delicated area indeed and that social engineering can create as many problems as it solves? ?
It is
certainly
very
understandable that
some
government
should
start
looking at ways of limiting their
population
to sustainable figure. In the past,
populations
were partly regulated by frequent war and widespread disease.
But
in recent years the effects of those factors have
been diminished
. Country can
be faced
with a
population
that is
growing much faster than
she nations
food resources or employment opportunities and whose members can
be condemned
to poverty by the need to feed extra mouths. They identify
population
control as a means living standards.
But
how should it
be achieved
?

Clearly
, this whole area is a
very
delicate personal and cultural issue.
Many
people
feel that this is not a matter for the state. They feel this is one area of life where they have the right to
make
decision for themselves. For that reason, it would seem that the best approach would be to work by persuasion
rather
than compulsion. This could
be done
by a process of education that points out the way a smaller family can mean am
improved
quality of life for the family members,
as well
as less strain on the country perhaps
very
limited resource.

This is the preferred way.
Of course
, if this does not
succeeded
within a reasonable time scale, it may be necessary to consider other measures. Such as tax incentives or child benefit payments for
small
families
only
. These are midway between persuasion and compulsion.

So
yes, it is
sometimes
necessary,
but
governments
should try
very
hard
to persuade
first
. They should
also
remember
that is
very
delicated
area
indeed
and that social engineering can create as
many
problems as it solves? ?
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay Some governments say how many children a family can here in their country. They may control the number of children someone has through taxes. It is sometimes necessary and right for a government to control the population in this way. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
278 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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