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Some government say how many children a family can have in their country. they may control the number of children someone has through taxes it is sometimes necessary and right for a government to control the population in this way. do you agree or disagree? v.1

Some government say how many children a family can have in their country. they may control the number of children someone has through taxes it is sometimes necessary and right for a government to control the population in this way. v. 1
A highly contentious issue today relates to the high ratio of tomography in most countries. Consequently, some authorities manage this problem by controlling the number of offsprings in every family by taxation. I strongly agree with this idea, and in this essay I will give some reasons in favour to support my opinion. Frist and foremost, I believe that increase of the number of persons in some regions are significant problem face the world nowadays. this growth has harmful side effects such as araise the ratio of pollution. Not only this but also result in decline of the national income of these nations. The recent statistics in Egypt made by social tomographic institution last month illustrated that the proportion of humans in Egypt exceed 100 million. So that the administration is in trouble which in turn lead to it became incapable to offer the needs of all these rates. This means that it will lowering the salaries of individuals. In the other word, the managerial department should find suitable solutions to this phenomenon by different ways. Firstly, it should be increase awareness of societies by various advertisements and lectures. After that, it must implement some laws and taxes to restrict this growth. To illustrate, in the USA if the number of youth excess two, the government is not responsible of their education and treatment. Moreover, parents pay extra fees. As consequently, every house controls their count to get support from authority. In conclusion, I completely agree with this notion, and it certainly true to say the best method adjust enormous proportions of people is punishment. If government choose to ignore these phenomena, the future of humanity will be in danger.
A
highly
contentious issue
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
relates to the high ratio of tomography in most countries.
Consequently
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
authorities manage this problem by controlling the number of
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "offspring", the plural form of the noun 'offspring'?
offsprings
in every family by taxation. I
strongly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
, and in this essay I will give
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
reasons in
Possible spelling mistake. 'favour' is British English.
favour
to support my opinion.

Possible spelling mistake found.
Frist
and foremost, I believe that increase of the number of persons in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
regions are significant problem face the world nowadays.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
this
growth has harmful side effects such as
Possible spelling mistake found.
araise
the ratio of pollution. Not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
this
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
result in decline of the national income of these nations. The recent statistics in Egypt made by social tomographic institution last month illustrated that the proportion of humans in Egypt exceed 100 million.
“So that” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
So that
the administration is in trouble which in turn lead to it became incapable to offer the needs of all these rates. This means that it will
The verb 'will' requires the base form of the verb: "lower"
lowering
the salaries of individuals.

In the other word, the managerial department should find suitable solutions to this phenomenon by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
ways.
Firstly
, it should be increase awareness of societies by various advertisements and lectures. After that, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
implement
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
laws and taxes to restrict this growth. To illustrate, in the USA if the number of youth excess two, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
is not
The usual collocations for "responsible" is "responsible for". Did you mean "responsible for" or "in charge of"?
responsible of
their education and treatment.
Moreover
, parents pay extra fees. As
consequently
, every
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
controls their count to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
support from authority.

In conclusion
, I completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this notion, and
It seems that a verb is missing.
it
certainly
true to say the best method adjust enormous proportions of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
is punishment. If
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
choose to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ignore
these phenomena, the future of humanity will be in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
danger
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9Mistakes

IELTS essay Some government say how many children a family can have in their country. they may control the number of children someone has through taxes it is sometimes necessary and right for a government to control the population in this way. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
280 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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