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University students are increasingly studying abroad as part of their studies. Do the advantages of studying abroad outweigh the disadvantages? v.8

University students are increasingly studying abroad as part of their studies. Do the advantages of studying abroad outweigh the disadvantages? v. 8
In recent years, obtaining foreign education as part of their degree is increasingly becoming a trend amongst college students. Although overseas study can expose students to diverse languages and cultures that might be of significant benefit to them later in their careers, it could also be challenging for them to adapt to a new way of life. In my opinion, students are better off having studied in a different country, despite the challenges they will inevitably face. The greatest benefit of studying abroad is that students will often learn new languages. The mode of learning in a country is usually its native language which students are expected to understand so effective learning can take place. For example, a student whose mother tongue is Spanish could opt to attend university in England so as to learn how to communicate in English language. Learning a foreign language is undoubtedly the main advantage of studying overseas because it makes you gain the ability to speak in other tongues. Additionally, studying abroad gives students the opportunity to have a first hand experience of a culture totally different from their own. In contrast, being in an unfamiliar culture in a new country can often cause culture shock to a person. The differences in culture may pose to be a barrier in integration into a new environment. For instance, a student from a liberal country will find it hard to conform to laws that govern citizens of a conservative society. The negative effects of abroad study will make it difficult for students in overseas universities to adapt easily. In conclusion, the benefits of studying in another country far outweigh the disadvantages.
In recent years, obtaining foreign education as part of their degree is
increasingly
becoming a trend amongst college
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
. Although overseas study can expose
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to diverse
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
languages
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultures
that might be of significant benefit to them later in their careers, it could
also
be challenging for them to adapt to a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
way of life. In my opinion,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
are better off having studied in a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
, despite the challenges they will
inevitably
face.

The greatest benefit of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studying
abroad is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
will
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
learn
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
languages
. The mode of learning in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
is
usually
its native
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expected
to understand
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
effective learning can take place.
For example
, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
whose mother tongue is Spanish could opt to attend university in England
'So as to' expresses purpose and is used in formal texts. Consider using "to"
so as to
learn how to communicate in English
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
. Learning a foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
is
undoubtedly
the main advantage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studying
overseas
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
you gain the ability to speak in other tongues.

Additionally
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studying
abroad gives
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
the opportunity to have a
'first hand' seems to be a compound adjective in front of a noun. Use a hyphen: "first-hand".
first hand
experience of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
totally
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
from their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
.

In contrast
, being in an unfamiliar
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
can
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
cause
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
shock to a person. The differences in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
may pose to be a barrier in integration into a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
environment.
For instance
, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
from a liberal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
will find it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to conform to laws that govern citizens of a conservative society. The
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effects of abroad study will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
it difficult for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
in overseas universities to adapt
easily
.

In conclusion
, the benefits of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studying
in another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
far outweigh the disadvantages.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
32Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes
I love commuting between languages just like I love commuting between cultures and cities.
Elif Safak

IELTS essay University students are increasingly studying abroad as part of their studies. Do the advantages of studying abroad outweigh the disadvantages? v. 8

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
275 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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