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Some experts believe that it is better for children to begin learning a foreign language at primary schools rather than secondary school. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages? v.3

Some experts believe that it is better for children to begin learning a foreign language at primary schools rather than secondary school. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages? v. 3
Some people argue that it would be better to teach our children foreign languages as earlier, as it is possible. Although not all concur this opinion, I would encourage that, given the fact that the very learning process in younger kids goes easier and smoother, and in addition it may result in higher academic achievements in the future. On the one hand brain functions better at the earlier ages several times better then later on, as it declines over the years. It would mean that the younger we are while learning a new languagelanguage or performing other task the better attainments we could gain. So it would be reasonable educating young other languages at earlier stages of their development, given the fact that the rate of their success in respective field will be higher. In addition, the earlier we teach kids new languages, the more time they will have in the future to learn specific subjects, not spending time on language learning. On the other hand, it is worth to mention the fact that language is exactly one of the best brain-stimulating activities. Thus, while learning them kids can discover their other hidden talents, which otherwise may remain unutilised. Moreover, not all data may be available in the native language of individuals, and in this situation language barrier might prevent them from further development, career advancement. In contrast, those who have acquired this language earlier in their lives may benefit this situation. For instance, most Uzbek native speakers, who study in local medical universities complain about the lack of medical books available in their mother tongue. As the result, they resort to reading Russian books and struggle with the language aspect. To summarize, learning new languages can trigger unexplored prowess of individuals. In addition, it may result in higher academic attainments later on as well as contribute to receiving better education and acing in the respective field, negotiating language related barriers in the learning process.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
argue that it would be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
to teach our children foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
languages
as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
earlier
, as it is possible. Although not all concur this opinion, I would encourage that,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
the fact that the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
process in younger kids goes easier and smoother, and
in addition
it may result in higher academic achievements in the future.

On the one hand brain functions
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
at the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
earlier
ages several times
Did you mean "better than"?
better then
later on, as it declines over the years. It would mean that the younger we are while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
a new
Possible spelling mistake found.
languagelanguage
or performing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
task the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
attainments we could gain.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
it would be reasonable educating young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
languages
at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
earlier
stages of their development,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
the fact that the rate of their success in respective field will be higher.
In addition
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
earlier
we teach kids new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
languages
, the more time they will have in the future to learn specific subjects, not spending time on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
learning.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, it is worth to mention the fact that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
is exactly one of the best brain-stimulating activities.
Thus
, while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
them kids can discover their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hidden talents, which
otherwise
may remain
Possible spelling mistake found.
unutilised
.
Moreover
, not all data may be available in the native
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
of individuals, and in this situation

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
language
barrier might
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
them from
further
development, career advancement.
In contrast
, those who have acquired this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
earlier
in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
may benefit this situation.
For instance
, most Uzbek native speakers, who study in local medical universities complain about the lack of medical books available in their mother tongue. As the result, they resort to reading Russian books and struggle with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
aspect.

To summarize
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
languages
can trigger unexplored prowess of individuals.
In addition
, it may result in higher academic attainments later on
as well
as contribute to receiving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
education and acing in the respective field, negotiating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
related barriers in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
process.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
29Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes

IELTS essay Some experts believe that it is better for children to begin learning a foreign language at primary schools rather than secondary school. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages? v. 3

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
325 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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