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Some experts believe that it is better for children to begin learning a foreign language at primary school rather than secondary school. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages? v.8

Some experts believe that it is better for children to begin learning a foreign language at primary school rather than secondary school. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages? v. 8
In many countries children are taught a foreign language at secondary school. But some educationalists condsider that it is more effective for pupil to start learning a non-native language at primary school. Although educating a second language at the first year of the school might have some negative impacts on children, the benefits of this trend prevail over its drawbacks. On the one hand, it is acceptable that teaching a foregin language at primary school may have some disadvantages. First of all, small aged children are more curious to play games rather than study hard. So, if you separate the kids from their favourite activities and compel them to learn a new language, they will be depressed and discouraged to study at all. Secondly, at primary schools children are usually taught simple subjects, such as reading and writing in their mother tongue and basic math skills. Adding another subject to their schedule may create unnecessary pressure and confuse them. For example, a five-year-old child, having not learned his own language perfectly yet, will feel himself in an obstacle situation, while learning new words and phrases. On the other hand, the benefits of learning a second language at elementary school outweigh its disadvantages. Proponents of this thought claim that, the curriculum of primary school is easier than that for secondary school, and children are not overloaded with other subjects, like geography or physics. In this case, they have more flexible time to learn at least some basic words of a new language. Furethemore, younger children are less shy than teenagers, and they tend to copy everything they see or hear. For instance, while watching cartoons or hearing texts in any language, they try to imitate the actions or speech of the characters. As a result, by just picking up some words and phrases they start to create simple sentences in a non-native language and talk without any hesitation. In conclusion, to begin learning a foreign language at primary school is very advantageous for young children, and the possible drawbacks of this lag behind its benefits.
In
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
countries
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are taught
a foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
at secondary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
educationalists
Possible spelling mistake found.
condsider
that it is more effective for pupil to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
a non-native
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
primary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
. Although educating a second
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
at the
first
year of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
might have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impacts on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
, the benefits of this trend prevail over its drawbacks.

On the one hand, it is acceptable that teaching a
Possible spelling mistake found.
foregin
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
primary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
may have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
disadvantages.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
aged
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are more curious to play games
rather
than study
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, if you separate the kids from their
Possible spelling mistake. 'favourite' is British English.
favourite
activities and compel them to learn a new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
, they will
be depressed
and discouraged to study at all.
Secondly
, at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
primary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are
usually
taught simple subjects, such as reading and writing in their mother tongue and basic math
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
. Adding another subject to their schedule may create unnecessary pressure and confuse them.
For example
, a five-year-
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
child, having not learned his
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
perfectly
yet
, will feel himself in an obstacle situation, while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
new words and phrases.

On the other hand
, the benefits of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
a second
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
at elementary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
outweigh its disadvantages. Proponents of this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
claim that, the curriculum of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
primary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
is easier than that for secondary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
, and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are not overloaded with other subjects, like geography or physics.
In this case
, they have more flexible time to learn at least
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
basic words of a new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Furethemore
, younger
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are less shy than
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
, and they tend to copy everything they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
or hear.
For instance
, while watching cartoons or hearing texts in any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
, they try to imitate the actions or speech of the characters.
As a result
, by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
picking up
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
words and phrases they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
to create simple sentences in a non-native
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
and talk without any hesitation.

In conclusion
, to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
a foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
primary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
advantageous for young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
, and the possible drawbacks of this lag behind its benefits.
13Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
36Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes

IELTS essay Some experts believe that it is better for children to begin learning a foreign language at primary school rather than secondary school. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages? v. 8

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
344 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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