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2. Some experts believe that it is better for children to begin learning a foreign language at primary school rather than secondary school. Do the advantages of this outweigh than the disadvantages v.1

2. Some experts believe that it is better for children to begin learning a foreign language at primary school rather than secondary school. Do the advantages of this outweigh than the disadvantages v. 1
In this sophisticated era, Shape of education is been changing rapidly. It is often considered by many Individuals that the interest of choosing Scientific related subjects such as Biology, zoology, physiology has been decreased. In the further parts of the essay I will detail why this is happening followed by the effects that this Issue could cause to the public. Firstly, Subjects that deals with science lost their charisma and no more in competition compared to other subjects such as Maths or computers. Due to the advancement of technology, Students showing their passion towards digital platforms which will dominate the world of Scientific technology in the coming days. Secondly, Science related subjects tend to be more complex and Younger people needs to put diligence as well as a great deal of patience and intelligence. Finally, Wages for science graduates are not impressive in global pay scale since many of them remained to be less affluent. Society could greatly affect with the scarcity of human resource if people tend to Ignore science. If students opt to choose other majors such as economics or mathematics that directly impact the Science experiments. for instance, Although Science is regarded as power subject in dealing the origin of the Universe, lack of faculty in research labs has become a major concern for many Space research organisations. Moreover, in the benefit of interest with other subjects competed among those Jobs would lead to unemployment. In conclusion. Hurdles regarding some strict requirements of science subjects and employment opportunities are factored a lot for students not choosing such subjects to study, and therefore problems arising from this situation.
In this sophisticated era, Shape of education
is been
changing
rapidly
. It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
considered by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
Individuals that the interest of choosing Scientific related
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
such as Biology, zoology, physiology has
been decreased
. In the
further
parts of the essay I will detail why this is happening followed by the effects that this Issue could cause to the public.

Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Subjects
that deals with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
lost their charisma and no more in competition compared to other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
such as
Possible spelling mistake. 'Maths' is British English.
Maths
or computers. Due to the advancement of technology, Students showing their passion towards digital platforms which will dominate the world of Scientific technology in the coming days.
Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Science
related
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
tend to be more complex and Younger
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
needs
to put diligence
as well
as a great deal of patience and intelligence.
Finally
, Wages for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
graduates are not impressive in global pay scale since
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
of them remained to be less affluent.

Society could
greatly
Did you mean "effect"?
affect
with the scarcity of human resource if
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
tend to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Ignore
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
. If students opt to choose other majors such as economics or mathematics that
directly
impact the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Science
experiments.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
for
instance, Although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Science
is regarded
as power
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
in dealing the origin of the Universe, lack of faculty in research labs has become a major concern for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
Space research
Possible spelling mistake. 'organisations' is British English.
organisations
.
Moreover
, in the benefit of interest with other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
competed among those Jobs would lead to unemployment.

In conclusion
. Hurdles regarding
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
strict requirements of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
and employment opportunities
are factored
a lot for students not choosing such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
to study, and
therefore
problems arising from this situation.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay 2. Some experts believe that it is better for children to begin learning a foreign language at primary school rather than secondary school. Do the advantages of this outweigh than the disadvantages v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
270 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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