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Some experts believe that it is better for children to begin learning a foreign language at primary school rather than secondary school. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages? v.7

Some experts believe that it is better for children to begin learning a foreign language at primary school rather than secondary school. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages? v. 7
Today, it is essential to be capable of communicating in a foreign language. Some parents have the idea that their children should be educated with a second-language in elementary school, while others think that secondary school is a more suitable environment to develop this skill. In my view, both cases have their own benefits. On the one hand, it is more effective for children at young ages to learn a foreign language. Students in primary school have a lighter workload, not being assigned a great deal of homework. Therefore, they have more time dedicated to learning a second language. In this way, a strong foundation is built which helps them use the language effectively and accurately is built at a young age. This brings a host of future benefits. This is particularly true of Do Nhat Nam, who has exposure to English during elementary school. Due to his early English education, he achieved an 8. 0 in IELTS during secondary school and then earned a scholarship to study abroad. Compared to others who do not start learning a foreign language as a child, they tend to struggle to communicate in that language and miss out on many opportunities. On the other hand, there are several reasons for children to begin studying an additional language during secondary school. In their early stages of growth, children should join in outdoor activities to have full physical and mental development, rather than studying. In this way, they tend to be more clever and energetic when attending secondary school, which helps enhance their acquisitiveness in languages. Another reason is that the fees of foreign-language courses in some developing countries are not affordable to some parents. Moreover, children are more able to deeply understand languages when they are older. Therefore, it is more economically efficient for parents to have their child study a foreign language a little bit later. In brief, it is always beneficial for children to study a foreign language whenever they are in primary or secondary school. From my perspective, I believe that children should start learning it as soon as possible.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Today
, it is essential to be capable of communicating in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
parents have the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
that their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
should
be educated
with a second-language in elementary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
, while others
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
secondary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
is a more suitable environment to develop this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
. In my view, both cases have their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
benefits.

On the one hand, it is more effective for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
at young ages to learn a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
. Students in primary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
have a lighter workload, not
being assigned
a great deal of homework.
Therefore
, they have more time dedicated to learning a second
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
. In this way, a strong foundation
is built
which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
them
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
effectively
and
accurately
is built
at a young age. This brings a host of future benefits. This is
particularly
true of Do
Possible spelling mistake found.
Nhat
Nam, who has exposure to English during elementary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
. Due to his early English education, he achieved an 8. 0 in IELTS during
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
secondary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
and then earned a scholarship to study abroad. Compared to others who do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
learning a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
as a child, they tend to struggle to communicate in that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
and miss out on
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
opportunities.

On the other hand
, there are several reasons for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
studying an additional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
during
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
secondary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
. In their early stages of growth,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
join
in outdoor activities to have full physical and mental development,
rather
than studying. In this way, they tend to be more clever and energetic when attending
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
secondary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
enhance their acquisitiveness in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
languages
. Another reason is that the fees of foreign-language courses in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
developing countries
are not affordable to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
parents.
Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are more able to
deeply
understand
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
languages
when they are older.
Therefore
, it is more
economically
efficient for parents to have their child study a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
a
Reduce redundancy by using "little" or "bit".
little bit
later.

In brief
, it is always beneficial for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to study a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
whenever they are in primary or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
secondary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
. From my perspective, I believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
learning it as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
as possible.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
36Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay Some experts believe that it is better for children to begin learning a foreign language at primary school rather than secondary school. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages? v. 7

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
349 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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