Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Some experts believe that it is better for children to begin learning a foreign language at primary school rather than secondary school. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages? v.6

In this new era, globalization is a massive concern of the society and children are born destined to become ‘globalized civilians’ in the future. Therefore, learning a foreign language is considered the top priority and some specialists claim that the approach to a new external language at primary school is superior to that at secondary school. From my perspective, the benefits of this practice outweigh the drawbacks as I will show then. At a young age, children have a proclivity towards imitating the pronunciation and the way of speaking from everyone around. Moreover, the golden key to be successful in learning a new language is the ability to mimic the native, which proves that children have an advantage over the older generation. Secondly, in order to stimulate children’s curiosity and inquisitiveness, which are the main factors to the victory of studying an external language, every junior school should include the international-language-subject into the general curricula as soon as possible. From the merits of learning a new language, the young learners will have the opportunity to assimilate into the world faster and approach with various different cultures at an early age; since then, they will be able to broaden their mind, enrich their knowledge and adapt to the trending globalization. For instance, science has proved that children encountering a new international language early have the capability of perceiving and processing information effortlessly. In contrast, the potential risk of primary pupils learning a new language may be a burden of responsibility and pressure on family, school and the children themselves. The very young students when initiating learning a new language have to undergo a great deal of struggles as they are too young to conform themselves to a different and brand new knowledge. Besides, the more subjects they learn, the less time they can spend on other outdoor and social activities; so that their childhood will adversely be filled with ‘studying memories’. To recapitulate, school in conjunction with parents should instruct children to manage to balance the studying of both national and international language effectively so the results received will be satisfactory.
In this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
era, globalization is a massive concern of the society and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are born
destined to become ‘globalized civilians’ in the future.
Therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
a foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
is considered
the top priority and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
specialists claim that the approach to a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
external
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
at primary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
is superior to that at secondary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
. From my perspective, the benefits of this practice outweigh the drawbacks as I will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
then.

At a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
age,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
have a proclivity towards imitating the pronunciation and the way of speaking from everyone around.
Moreover
, the golden key to be successful in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
is the ability to mimic the native, which proves that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
have an advantage over the older generation.
Secondly
, in order to stimulate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children’s
curiosity and inquisitiveness, which are the main factors to the victory of studying an external
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
, every junior
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
should include the international-language-subject into the general curricula as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
as possible. From the merits of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
learners will have the opportunity to assimilate into the world faster and approach with various
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
cultures at an early age; since then, they will be able to broaden their mind, enrich their knowledge and adapt to the trending globalization.
For instance
, science has proved that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
encountering a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
early have the capability of perceiving and processing information
effortlessly
.

In contrast
, the potential
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
of primary pupils
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
may be a burden of responsibility and pressure on family,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
themselves. The
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
students when initiating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
undergo a great deal of struggles as they are too
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
to conform themselves to a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
and brand
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
knowledge.
Besides
, the more subjects they learn, the less time they can spend on other outdoor and social activities;
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that their childhood will
adversely
be filled
with ‘studying memories’.

To recapitulate,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
in conjunction with parents should instruct
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to manage to balance the studying of both national and international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
Use a comma before ‘so’ if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
effectively
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
the results received will be satisfactory.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS essay Some experts believe that it is better for children to begin learning a foreign language at primary school rather than secondary school. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
350 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts