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Some experts believe that it is better for children to begin learning a foreign language at primary school rather than secondary school. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages? v.40

Some experts believe that it is better for children to begin learning a foreign language at primary school rather than secondary school. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages? v. 40
We live in an advanced and globalised world which necessitates that all people must learn a foreign language to cope with the modern trend. The optimum age for learning a new language is a matter of public debate which in my opinion is better to start as early as possible as the advantages of it are far more than the disadvantages. On one hand, the main disadvantages of teaching children another language at primary school are that - firstly, it could affect their ability to learn their mother tongue properly and they might get confused by learning many different languages with different grammar and pronunciation at the same time. Secondly, it could be a waste of their study time which could be spent on learning core subjects such as mathematics, sciences, technology etc. Finally, the learning of foreign language adds more loads on these young kids and takes some of their fun time. On the other hand knowing a foreign language at a young age is easier and need less time than learning at an older age. The children could pick up the pronunciation more easily as they learn it sub-consciously. Also, they learn with no shy and talk freely without any fear of making mistakes. Moreover teaching young children foreign language has a positive impact on their personality as it broadens their horizon and improves their social skills in dealing with foreign people and exposing them a wide range of cultures. Furthermore they will benefit from knowing a foreign language in their upcoming studies and work career as well, and still, they could find learning new language enjoyable for example: use some games and illustration for them as a teaching method. In conclusion, learning, an international language is demanding skill that I think it should be starting at primary school as the benefits outweigh the drawbacks.
We
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in an advanced and
Possible spelling mistake. 'globalised' is British English.
globalised
world which necessitates that all
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
to cope with the modern trend. The optimum age for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
a new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
is a matter of public debate which in my opinion is better to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
as early as possible as the advantages of it are far more than the disadvantages.

On one hand, the main disadvantages of teaching children another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
at primary school are that
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
-
firstly
, it could affect their ability to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
their mother tongue
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
properly and
they might
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
confused by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
languages
with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
grammar and pronunciation at the same time.
Secondly
, it could be a waste of their study time which could
be spent
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
core subjects such as mathematics, sciences, technology etc.
Finally
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
adds
more loads on these young kids and takes
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
of their fun time.

On the other hand
knowing a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
at a young age is easier and need less time than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
at an older age. The children could pick up the pronunciation more
easily
as they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
it sub-
consciously
.
Also
, they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
with no shy and talk
freely
without any fear of making mistakes.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Moreover
teaching young children
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
has a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
impact on their personality as it broadens their horizon and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improves
their social
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
in dealing with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
and exposing them a wide range of cultures.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Furthermore
they will benefit from knowing a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
in their upcoming studies and work career
as well
, and
still
, they could find
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
enjoyable
for example
:
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
games and illustration for them as a teaching method.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
, an international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
is demanding
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
that I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
it should be starting at primary school as the benefits outweigh the drawbacks.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
27Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Mistakes

IELTS essay Some experts believe that it is better for children to begin learning a foreign language at primary school rather than secondary school. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages? v. 40

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
307 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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