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Some people think that spending a lot on holding wedding parties, birthday parties and other celebrations is just a waste of money. Others, however, think that these are necessary for individuals and the society. v.12

Some people think that spending a lot on holding wedding parties, birthday parties and other celebrations is just a waste of money. Others, however, think that these are necessary for individuals and the society. v. 12
In the current world, most of the people like to celebrate any special occasion by inviting a lot of people. The discussion that throwing too much money to hold parties like birthday, marriage or any other special event is a debatable one, with strong logics provided by the supporters of both the views. A few argue that the special events need to be celebrated grandly, as it happens only a few times in a lifetime. For instance, marriage is considered to occur once in a lifetime and the people want to have the memory of that event until their last breath. This is possible only when the location is well decorated and all of the friends and the neighbours are invited. By spending limited money, it is almost impossible to achieve something special which will be remembered forever. Thus it is obvious, why some people incline towards this point of view. On the other hand, some people believe that it is not right to spend a huge amount money on personal celebrations as there are a lot of people across the globe under starvation. For example, in most of the African countries, many people do not even have food to eat for a single meal a day. In case, the money spent on celebration can be sent to the people who are really in need, definitely, a lot of life can be saved. Hence, it is clear why a few individuals refute with high spending parties. Considering the memories of special occasions as well as starvation, spending much money for parties has been supported and refuted by many. Even though memories of some special events are important, saving human life from starvation is more important. Hence, in my opinion, it is necessary to cut down the spending on parties and spend that money for the poor people’s food.
In the
current
world, most of the
people
like to celebrate any
special
occasion by inviting
a lot of
people
. The discussion that throwing too much
money
to hold parties like birthday, marriage or any other
special
event
is a debatable one, with strong logics provided by the supporters of both the views.

A few argue that the
special
events
need to
be celebrated
grandly
, as it happens
only
a few times in a lifetime.
For instance
, marriage
is considered
to occur once in a lifetime and the
people
want to have the memory of that
event
until their last breath. This is possible
only
when the location is well decorated and
all of the
friends and the
neighbours
are invited
. By
spending
limited
money
, it is almost impossible to achieve something
special
which will
be remembered
forever.
Thus
it is obvious, why
some
people
incline towards this point of view.

On the other hand
,
some
people
believe that it is not right to spend a huge amount
money
on personal celebrations as there are
a lot of
people
across the globe under starvation.
For example
, in most of the African countries,
many
people
do not even have food to eat for a single meal a day. In case, the
money
spent on celebration can be
sent
to the
people
who are
really
in need, definitely,
a lot of
life can
be saved
.
Hence
, it is
clear
why a few individuals refute with high
spending
parties.

Considering the memories of
special
occasions
as well
as starvation,
spending
much
money
for parties has
been supported
and refuted by
many
.
Even though
memories of
some
special
events
are
important
, saving human life from starvation is more
important
.
Hence
, in my opinion, it is necessary to
cut
down the
spending
on parties and spend that
money
for the poor
people’s
food.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
29Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think that spending a lot on holding wedding parties, birthday parties and other celebrations is just a waste of money. Others, however, think that these are necessary for individuals and the society. v. 12

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
308 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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