Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Money is important in most people's lives. Although some people think it is more important than others. v.5

Money is important in most people's lives. Although some people think it is more important than others. v. 5
Money plays an imperative role in one’s life. However, some among the mass believe that it is the most significant than other important factors and aspects of life. A moot question pertaining to the use of money would be the meticulous ways to spend it and other factors attributing to one's quality of life? Let us discourse on this topic below. As far as the right use of money is concerned, the golden rule would be to spend it wisely focusing on righteousness and virtues. Firstly, money should be spent on one's necessities compared to luxuries. It is ubiquitous nowadays for a mediocre family to own cars. This exemplifies the innate quest within the public to be extravagant. Secondly, money being spent on charity would classify the right use of it. From time immemorial, man has perceived himself as a social being, hence money spend on helping others would serve its ideal purpose. Thirdly, the monitoring efforts have been made to combat the threats to human existence on earth like terrorism, global warming etc. would be the next in line. Worldwide fundraisers to counter these menace exemplifies the right use of money. Apart from money, factors are many that contribute to one's quality of life. A good life would mean social, emotional and physical well-being of an individual. An individual devoid of mental peace would be a backlog contender towards achieving the quality of life. Maintaining one's social and familial relationships in an enchanting manner would be ideal for quality life. Another indispensable factor in this context would be the success in life that one earned, both success and good life being directly proportional to each other. Last but not to the least, one's innate qualities like kindheartedness, love towards their counterparts, the way one thing all constitutes to achieving a better quality. To conclude, I would like to reiterate that though money is eminent, when it comes to livelihood and quality of life, it would be dogmatic to assert that wealth is the most important than other factors involved in a healthy living. Along with the other determiners and rightly spend money, life is beautiful!
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Money
plays an imperative role in one’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
However
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
among the mass believe that it is the most
Use "(significant)" to make a comparison with this adjective.
significant
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
factors
and aspects of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. A moot question pertaining to the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
would be the meticulous ways to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
it and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
factors
attributing to one's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
quality
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
?
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Let
us discourse on this topic below.

As far as the right
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
is concerned
, the golden
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rule
would be to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
it
wisely
focusing on righteousness and virtues.
Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
should
be spent
on one's necessities compared to luxuries. It is ubiquitous nowadays for a mediocre family to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
cars. This exemplifies the innate quest within the public to be extravagant.
Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
being spent
on charity would classify the right
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of it. From time immemorial,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
has perceived himself as a social being,
hence
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
on helping others would serve its ideal purpose.
Thirdly
, the monitoring efforts have
been made
to combat the threats to human existence on earth like terrorism, global warming etc. would be the
next
in line. Worldwide fundraisers to counter these menace exemplifies the right
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of money.

Apart from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
factors
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
that contribute to one's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
quality
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. A
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
would mean social, emotional and physical well-being of an individual. An individual devoid of mental peace would be a backlog contender towards achieving the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
quality
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. Maintaining one's social and familial relationships
Consider replacing "in an enchanting manner" with the adverb for "enchanting"; e.g., "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
in an enchanting manner
would be ideal for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
quality
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. Another indispensable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
factor
in this context would be the success in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
that one earned, both success and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
being
directly
proportional to each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
. Last
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not to the least, one's innate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
qualities
like kindheartedness,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
towards their counterparts, the way one thing all constitutes to achieving a better quality.

To conclude
, I would like to reiterate that though
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
is eminent, when it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
to livelihood and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
quality
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
, it would be dogmatic to assert that wealth is the most
Use "(important)" to make a comparison with this adjective.
important
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
factors
involved in a healthy living. Along with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
determiners and
rightly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
beautiful
!
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
40Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay Money is important in most people's lives. Although some people think it is more important than others. v. 5

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
356 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts