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Many people say that movies and TV programmes affect us negatively while others say that they are two influential and useful media for us. How do movies and TV affect us? v.1

Many people say that movies and TV programmes affect us negatively while others say that they are two influential and useful media for us. How do movies and TV affect us? v. 1
There has been tremendous growth of entertainment media over the last few years. Media influenced numerous people and it becomes an essential part of their life. Some people argue that media is spoiling youngster badly due to the severe violence that is being used on TV programmes and films. However, others state that it keeps us updated with the latest news and a source of entertainment for many. I strongly believe that media has undeniable benefits on people lives. Media play a vital role in easing our stress and tension. Nowadays people are busy in their hectic routine work, they get very less time for recreational activities. Movies and television provide best sources of entertainment and help us to become refreshed and informed, relaxed and energetic for our future work. In addition to this television also provide news and other informative programs which create awareness and enhance our knowledge. However, youngsters are negatively affected by the violence and aggression shown in movies and dramas. They have become less patience and more susceptible to violence. This has also increased the crime rate in the society. People want to act like their favourite celebrity in real life, which cause many problems. For Instance, people start fighting over a small dispute which could turn into a battlefield on a later stage. Fashion and style that youngsters often follow because of their favourite actor or actress are often unacceptable in many societies. In conclusion, I believe that we should use media as a fun activity rather than highlight its negative aspects. It is also recommended to remove violence. Finally, movies and TV has more positive effects and should be the mandatory part of everyone lives.
There has been tremendous growth of entertainment
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
over the last few years.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Media
influenced numerous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and it becomes an essential part of their life.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
argue that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
is spoiling youngster
badly
due to the severe
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
violence
that is
being
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
on TV
Possible spelling mistake. 'programmes' is British English.
programmes
and films.
However
, others state that it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keeps
us updated with the latest news and a source of entertainment for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
. I
strongly
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
has undeniable benefits on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
lives
.

Media play a vital role in easing our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
and tension. Nowadays
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are busy in their hectic routine work, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
less time for recreational activities. Movies and television provide best sources of entertainment and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
us to become refreshed and informed, relaxed and energetic for our future work.
In addition
to this television
also
provide news and other informative programs which create awareness and enhance our knowledge.

However
, youngsters are
negatively
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
violence
and aggression shown in movies and dramas. They have become less patience and more susceptible to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
violence
. This has
also
increased the crime rate in the society.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
want to act like their
Possible spelling mistake. 'favourite' is British English.
favourite
celebrity in real life, which cause
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
problems.
For Instance
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
fighting over a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
dispute which could turn into a battlefield on a later stage. Fashion and style that youngsters
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
follow
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of their
Possible spelling mistake. 'favourite' is British English.
favourite
actor or actress are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
unacceptable in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
societies.

In conclusion
, I believe that we should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
as a fun activity
rather
than highlight its
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
aspects. It is
also
The verb 'recommended' is used with the gerund form: "recommended removing".
recommended to remove
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
violence
.
Finally
, movies and TV has more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
effects and should be the mandatory part of everyone
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
15Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes
If we spoke a different language, we would perceive a somewhat different world.
Ludwig Wittgenstein

IELTS essay Many people say that movies and TV programmes affect us negatively while others say that they are two influential and useful media for us. How do movies and TV affect us? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
281 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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